Yee of Little Faith

All About PR

2009-11-12T21:40:00.006-06:00

I'm watching the second to last episode of Project Runway right now, and I just cannot escape it. Apparently, 6 months out of law school and unemployment hasn't completely atrophied my brain.

For those not in the know, before Fashion Week (i.e. the finale) Tim Gunn visits the designers in their homes to see how their final collections are going. When he visited Irina (my least favorite contestant who is unfortunately the most talented), she announced her intention to use Coney Island t-shirts she had bought. First off, why isn't that against the rules? Second, my immediate thought was that the artwork on the front was copyrighted, possibly even trademarked (I couldn't see it that well). Sure enough, half way through the episode, Tim calls Irina and informs her of this. It's supposed to be a big "OH NOES!" moment, but my legal education left my underwhelmed about the revelation. The entire season has been underwhelming, so I was kind of annoyed that my big "HA!" moment for Irina was spoiled. *sad face*

Anyway, next season needs some changes if they're expecting me to watch again. For one thing, the judges (especially the guest judges) need brains. That would be nice. Also, it would be fabulous if they judged on actual skill instead of who was most popular - *cough*Chris*cough*. And where are my off-the-wall challenges? Make a dress out of things you find in a pet store or something, please.

Yeah, that's all I have to say. Unemployment is unexciting.

Suspension of Belief

2009-09-29T10:11:00.005-06:00

There are precious few movies that I have ever walked out of saying, "That was better than the book." When someone is cutting and trimming a book down to the 2 hours of a screenplay, plot elements are lost and characters become that much flatter. (The travesty called "The Golden Compass" anyone?) In general. But there are exceptions. "Jurassic Park" the movie is much better than the book - Michael Crichton doesn't heavily characterize *anyway*, and the story is so much more enjoyable without meandering chapters about the science of it all. Like, I get it - you did research. I, however, would like to read about the next guy to get gutted by a velociraptor. Besides, I liked Ian Malcolm, and I *know* he makes some miraculous recovery in "The Lost World", but how lame was his ending in the meantime?

Anyway, you ask anyone that knows me, and they'll probably know that one of my favorite movies is "The African Queen". Humphrey Bogart in his only Academy Award-winning role and Katherine Hepburn playing someone perfectly suited for her prim independence - what could be better?

So when I was meandering in Half-Price Books the other day and saw the novel by C.S. Forester on which the film was based, I was surprised at myself for never having read it. Something was nagging at me at the back of my mind (which turned about to be my mother's warnings from long ago), but I ignored it and started reading the quite-identical adventures of Charlie (yes, that's where my dog got his name) and Rosie. There are the Germans of WWI and the rapids and the insects and the really painful bit where they almost die in the reeds. Everything!

... Except the ending. For 17 chapters, Charlie and Rosie were the complete and utter focus of the book (save one that showed exactly how they managed to get past the German fort by switching to the German's point of view). Then, Forester decides that's boring - let's throw in some of the British that aren't supposed to be around, according to earlier bits of the book! And let's wrest the entire remainder of the narrative from the two main characters and have a sudden ending where the only thing resolved is the high level of the reader's mystification! What. The. Eff. It wasn't the "that's my favorite movie" part of me that rebelled - it just didn't make any narrative sense. Like Forester got tired at the end and decided he'd just turn *something* into his publisher, like it was a high school English paper.

"I'm so glad we got a better ending than the book, Rosie!"

No wonder the screenwriters changed the end. I'll take "slightly inconceivable" over "dumb ass" for my endings any day, thanks.

If you have a choice, get in front of the TV and watch it. You'll feel better. It's an awesome movie, and it's better than the book. I told the pup after I was done - "You're named after Humphrey Bogart's Academy Award-winning character, not the book's protagonist." I think he appreciated the difference.

Projects

2009-09-24T11:28:00.002-06:00

Things I am amusing myself with until I get my bar results and start applying for the myriad of jobs that require state licensing (and are the ones I want the most, so that works out):

1. Staining, stenciling and finishing my dresser.

2. Staring at the mountains of stuff from my younger years that my mother has made me move out of her house. Wondering what I'm going to do with all of it and where it will go.

3. Getting into better shape, before I get a job (thinking optimistically!) and I become a couch potato again.

4. Facebook stalking.

5. Reading all those books I bought over the past 3 years and then never read, because I had to study or (more often) use my free time to sleep.

6. Crossword puzzles.

7. Talking to friends about things other than law school, which is refreshing for all parties.

8. Reminding everyone that bar results aren't due until November, and no, the wait doesn't mean I failed.

9. Dealing with the new house's heating and cooling systems, both of which have decided they hate me.

10. Getting up to let the dog in and out of the backyard every 5 minutes. (Soon to be #11 on the list - putting in a doggie door!)

I Watched Bob Ross Too

2009-08-30T19:42:00.005-06:00

PBS stopped airing reruns of "Reading Rainbow" a few days ago. One of the columns I read said that PBS wants to concentrate on programs that educate in a substantive way, instead of just encouraging children to read. Why would kids want to read when they can get all their information straight from the television, right?

I once took a stunningly boring class called "Psychology of Reading". It was mostly about the success of phonetic reading as a opposed to whole-word reading. (Even typing that sentence made me sleepy. I promise I won't explain it further.) But before we got into the intricacies of *that*, the professor decided to tease us for a couple days with the actually interesting question of why some kids love to read and some hate it.

My own parents seemed to consciously plan how much I would grow to love reading - I know that it wasn't so deliberate only because I'm the only child and nothing is deliberate with your first and only child, as my mother now says. My father read stories to me at bedtime when I was little - mostly the nauseating Bernstein Bear series that was so popular back then. He didn't care for them, especially as I had only about 15 of them, and made them more interesting for the both of us by adding his own embellishments. The Bernsteins became more like the Simpsons than a bear family that gave sound moral advice. I remember laughing a lot.

My mother, on the other hand, began reading much more difficult books to me from a very early age. She read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", "Treasure Island" and a number of others to me before I even went into kindergarten. I remember us both crying when Aslan died.

I was lucky to have a series of good teachers. My 3rd grade teacher read "The Witches" by Roald Dahl to us, and I found a favorite author for my childhood. In 5th grade, we were allowed to read whatever book we wanted to - at least 3 per semester. When we moved to Dallas, I was surprised by the idea of being forced to read just one particular book, but I also was made to read what became my favorite novel, "Jane Eyre". I also had to read "The Scarlet Letter" though - a book I still shudder to think about. The NY Times had an article today about the difference between those approaches.

So is it better to have a list of books every child must read? Or should they have the freedom to choose (within limits)? If I had my way, I never would have touched Nathaniel Hawthorne's yawner or "Snow Falling on Cedars". But I probably wouldn't have read "To Kill A Mockingbird" either. Fair trade? Probably - for me, at least. Looking at the books I've been reading lately next to the resumes I haven't sent out, perhaps the whole thing was a bit *too* successful.

Just An Unfun Update

2009-08-12T09:12:00.003-06:00

This post was originally long, discussing possible employment prospects and suchlike. I depressed myself writing it. I'll leave you with a brief summary of what I've been up to lately. NYC pictures aren't available yet, since I can't find the cable to hook the camera to the computer. Maybe that post will be more cheerful...

The last couple of months have been full of moving, studying for the bar, taking the bar, and a rather odd, semi-impromptu trip to New York City. The good news is that Charlie loves his new back yard, I think the bar went alright, and I still can find my way around NYC, if my blood sugar hasn't bottomed out and I'm not in Times Square. The bad news is that Jon and I are in Dallas, completely bereft of jobs and, as the school year approaches ever faster, without any prospects for Jon. He's working at Best Buy again, and I'm trying to find anything that will pay me. I really, really don't want the last three years to have been a waste of my time and money.

On A Feminist Kick, Clearly

2009-06-08T23:10:00.002-06:00

So I'm watching "Live Free or Die Hard" at the moment, and I have a question for all two of you that read this. Are there ANY female villains out there that aren't the mastermind's girlfriend or after something completely stereotypical, like a man or fur coats made of Dalmatian puppies?

I like Maggie Q (who plays Mai, the main evil chick). I'm all for girls that kick some butt, even the evil ones, but why do these mentally unbalanced women need mentally unbalanced men to lead them through plans of chaos and destruction? Why are they all sidekicks that simply have the added benefit that the villain is probably not going to turn on his love monkey?

I want a female Hans Gruber. I want a villainess who is evil for little more than greed and power. A mastermind that works alone.

Extra points if she doesn't use her sexuality as a weapon!

(I have to say, I adore Kevin Smith in this. I always adore him though.)

I Don't Get It

2009-05-31T09:46:00.005-06:00

ALV and I were discussing feminism last night and decided that we're "old school" feminists. You know, the kind of feminists that think women should be able to make their own choices about what they do in life - i.e. be focused on career, be a stay-at-home mom or anything in between. This is opposed to the newer face of feminism - the mindset that if a woman doesn't do all that she can to exceed men in power, wealth and all those other areas where The Man (literally) has excelled in the past, then she is the ultimate failure and a disgrace to anyone with girl parts.

But I think that, in general, most women of any feminist or even anti-feminist group can agree on one thing - we're not meant to bear litters. Don't get in a huff. I don't mean that big families are a bad thing. I mean that having six or eight babies AT ONCE is not biologically sound. Human women are not dogs, cats, ducks or any other species that has multiple births on a regular basis. It's not just unnatural - televisions, forks and my comfy jeans aren't natural, and I wouldn't want to live without any of them - it's dangerous. It's dangerous to the babies, the mom and my sanity.

Unless you've been in a coma, solitary confinement or Tahiti, you've seen the hoopla over "Jon & Kate Plus Eight". I'm going to avoid deep analysis (Jon is a hapless bore and Kate is a neurotic control freak), but I have to wonder why we're rewarding these people for spawning like Scottish Terriers. Scottish Terriers do it all the time! And let's take a quick inventory of the damage their TV show has done to this family - exposed possible affair of Jon, exposed possible affair of Kate, taken Kate out of the house for her promotional book tours, left 8 children to live under constant scrutiny (which has worked so well for many child stars of yore) and earned a look from the government for possible violations of child labor laws. That's just the stuff directly attributable to the show. Then there's that whole "life" category of things that normal people have to deal with.

But, you know what? If these people want to destroy their lives with celebrity, that's fine. From what I've gleaned, Jon & Kate at least seemed able to support a household of 10, even if it would have become tight.

Today, however, I read this headline - "Octuplets' Mom Inks Reality TV, Book Deals".

UGH. The woman has serious issues. And a burden on society. While these deals might remove her from welfare, do you really think she's going to stop? She needs *help*, not affirmation.

Tell me that, along with "Twilight" and gladiator-sytle sandals, these multi-kid, multi-exploitation reality shows will go away.

Summer is Over

2009-05-19T23:21:00.002-06:00

Time to start studying for one of the most important tests of my life - second only to PC III, which would have sent me into hysterics if I'd failed it. (I predict only the normal volume of tears if I fail the bar, which I don't think I will. Shouldn't my fear level between the bar and PC III be switched? Hm.)

So for the next several weeks, I'm taking BarBri. I'm exceedingly glad we're having these preview workshops for a few days though. (I'm delightfully skipping over the oddities of listening to a lawyer who decided to regale her DVD audience that her 9 year old was having difficulty learning her multiplication tables, and that, for some reason, this meant that we had to work especially hard in memorizing our elements of negligence.) I have forgotten a lot. Torts, for instance.

Then there's that whole job search thing. I wish I could trace the entire path of my career goals throughout law school - I'm sure it'd be highly amusing. There was an entire stretch during PC that it went right off the 'lawyer' map and onto the 'anything else!' map of jobs, but I've recovered. Mostly. I'm still figuring it out though, and while I have a clearer picture of what I want to do with my life than just a month or so ago, I am really reticent to dive into the serious job search without more focus. It's probably just my own brain dancing its own little avoidance dance, but I'll let it have its fun for the time being.

I hope no one is expecting any startling realizations for the time being. The one with the most excitement in this family is Charlie, who has many stories about how he and the little Yorkie mix across the way keep missing each other on their trips outside. He sulks every time. He has a hard life.

Assuming I Passed Non-Profits

2009-04-29T01:43:00.003-06:00

I. Am. Done.

No more finals. No more classes. I have the gown - complete with the *doctoral* hood - in my closet, and the bar is the last hurdle before I'm a lawyer. And after PC, the bar really doesn't scare me.

I'm 24, and I've completed my schooling. My joy was well illustrated after finishing the Secured Transactions final by going over to ALV (who also is finished) and squealing like a pair of 13 year olds who had sighted their favorite boy band.

As ALV has pointed out though, this is the point where it gets terrifying if you don't have a job. But I choose not to think about that quite yet. (In my mind, I'm only going so far as May 12th, when I'll see NIN for the second time in the span of a year.)

What's known about the future - after BarBri in Waco, we're headed back to Dallas and moving into a real house with a backyard and everything. Charlie will be blissed out to have his own grass to roll around on, and I'll have a kitchen bigger than a closet. Other than that, everything's uncertain, but I still can't be bothered to worry about it.

I'm finished with law school! I hope! :P

Just To Share The Ridiculousness

2009-04-10T10:35:00.003-06:00

I've been a bit absent lately, I know. I wish I could say something exciting happened in the last few weeks, and I was extremely busy with that, but frankly, the only difference about me is that I now have my very first speeding ticket. Woo...

Yeah, so as I'm smarting from the concept that wiping the ticket off my record will cost roughly FOUR TIMES the amount of just paying the fine, I come across proof that others have learned nothing from the error of their ways. I know that's a vague phrase in these times, but I'm talking about that monolith of backwards thinking - the record label companies.

YES! What an awesome idea! Make a site with a dumb name that is exactly like YouTube, only put more advertising in it and make sure no one can share the videos! That *does* sound like a winning business model. And perfectly in sync with what today's computer-savvy consumer wants.

I don't know what the perfect model IS. But I can say that the one the record companies are clinging to is *failing*. I'm not smart enough to solve their problem, but there are people out there that are. Perhaps it's time to abandon the sinking ship and listen to the people they've been suing the pants off of, eh?

Also, the Name is Obnoxious

2009-03-24T21:45:00.002-06:00

There are many things I don't understand - why the good die young, how people find clowns at all entertaining, and how my grades are inversely proportional the amount of time I've spent studying for the exam. One day, I hope to find the answers to these questions. But there's one thing I do not understand and have no wish to - Twitter.

What narcissistic sociopath thought up Twitter? From what I can tell, it's addictive, constant and has even ensnared the upper echelons of our government representatives. Since when was anything that a decrepit congressman did cool? It would only have been worse if Obama himself was updating Twitter during his own speech - "Barack Obama is *rocking* this", "Barack Obama OMG! almost lost his place!", "Barack Obama thinks Nancy Pelosi might try to hug him soon - creepy".

Does anyone but me realize that it's just Facebook statuses on steroids? Don't we have enough people that update their status with frightening consistency? Why are we rewarding that behavior? Seriously, if you go to the Twitter homepage, under the "Why?" tab, it has "Eating soup? Research shows your mom wants to know." NO. I can ASSURE you that my mother does not care about my dietary habits on a minute-to-minute basis. I have never called her to list out my meals to her, unless you count when I went to Scotland, and I emailed to her - "I ate haggis and actually liked it!" (There was a whole lot more to that email.) And, people, my mother loves me.

Let's face it. Twitter is the ultimate vanity - more than even, say, having a blog where you preach to everyone about how certain things are stupid. It's a frivolity and a complete self-indulgence. I mean, chocolate cake is too but at least it takes only 5 minutes to eat a slice and doesn't annoy the crap out of the people around you.

Elvis Has Left the Building

2009-03-15T12:42:00.002-06:00

Like roughly half of BLS, I went to Vegas last week. We stayed at Planet Hollywood (our room's theme was "Empire Records", in case you were wondering) and in our roughly 48 hours on the Strip, I learned several things:

1. I want the job of designing fountain shows choreographed to music for the Bellagio. I'm probably fooling myself into thinking this is a relatively stress-free job.
2. When going anywhere in Vegas, take your camera, for Pete's sake. Can't take it out on the casino floors, but if you don't, you miss your opportunity to have a picture with either Penn or Teller after their show.
3. Hearing Teller actually talk three feet away from you is somewhat akin to your team having won a championship with the odds against it - you're pleased with something that had nothing to do with you, but is rather surreal all the same.
4. Do not fool yourself into thinking that winning at roulette once means you have some special skill at winning again.
5. In fact, winning at anything means you will soon lose at everything.
6. On the other hand, free drinks are fabulous no matter what you're playing and losing at. And it makes those silly penny slot games extremely distracting.
7. Finding a cheap place to eat is the biggest win you'll have in Vegas.
8. When feeling too anxious about the money you've lost or spent, spend more money ($14) and take a ride on the New York New York roller coaster - I giggled like mad, anyway.
9. If you see your husband with lots of chips at the poker table at 2 pm, resign yourself to the fact that he'll come up to you without any chips at all at 6 pm. Smile and ask where you're going to dinner instead.
10. Two nights are not enough to see everything - plan a return trip on the plane ride home.

I'd Have Thanked My Dog Too

2009-02-22T23:46:00.003-06:00

So I have to do a post-Oscars blog. I promise this one won't be all about fashion! Only mostly about it.

The Academy tried to switch things up this year, and along with the lovely ALV, I judged every aspect mercilessly. On the whole, it wasn't a bad show, but... well, I love to judge things. :)

Cons:

1. Belts! WTF? Why did every otherwise lovely dress have some hideous, pointless belt taped around the center, as if they weren't all heavily corseted on their own? SJP, Marion Cotillard, Miley Cyrus... all had belts around their itty bitty waists. Hardly necessary, ladies. You're thin as reeds. We get it. Thanks for playing.

2. Beyonce. Can we all just agree that she's a talentless hack? Really. Please? I want my wonderful childhood memories of "Over the Rainbow" back.

3. Beige (to continue the 'B' motif). Everyone wore it. Yawn. As ALV said - apparently 'color' is out. In general, although some women looked really lovely, there were no knock-outs this year.

4. Heath Ledger - you know, that guy that won the flippin' Oscar??? - getting left out of the memorial slide show! And no, he wasn't in it last year.

5. Oh, Sophia Loren. You used to be so beautiful. What happened?

6. The "what the heck are they doing here?" group. Robert Pattinson of 'Twilight' infamy was the most obvious - he sat closer to the front than Tina Fey and half of the best director nominees. Not only was he there - he presented! At least Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgeons were in the unfortunate Beyonce debacle.

7. I don't really care about Mickey Rourke (except I looked forward to the inevitable drawn-out, doggy-memorial speech). But I care even less for Sean Penn - and he forgot to thank his wife in his speech. Dude, she was sitting twenty feet in front of you. Her name is Robin.

Pros:

1. Hugh Jackman was adorable. Some of it was a tad ridiculous, but he attacked it with such sing and dance gusto that I wanted to hug him.

2. Angelina Jolie's jewels. I've never adored emeralds, but good grief, gorgeousness.

3. I think the little tributes by past winners to the nominees was kinda cute, if a bit rambling.

4. The winner of Best Animated Short - who was Japanese - trying to express his thanks in English and finally ending with something in his own language that everyone understood - "Domo Arigatou, Mister Roboto". Hehe.

5. Despite the obvious omission of Heath Ledger, Queen Latifah's singing for the memorial was fabulous. She's fabulous in general. And she wore color. Maybe not the best cut, but honey, if you got it, flaunt it.

6. Kate Winslet. What can I say? Oh yeah - FINALLY. Cute speech too.

7. 'Slumdog Millionaire' - the greatest movie I've seen in ages actually got all the honors it deserved. They seemed genuinely happy to receive every award they got too, which is always nice to see. The wins for Best Score and Best Song were especially fantastic - he told silly jokes referring to his wife (who I'm sure just smiled and rolled her eyes) and shook slightly during his 20 minutes onstage, including a rather clever compilation of the 3 nominated songs.

We Have a New Contender!

2009-02-15T23:48:00.002-06:00

Until tonight, my top 5 worst-movies-I've-ever-seen list was fairly static:

1. Mr. Wrong
2. Ultraviolet
3. Eragon
4. Star Wars Episode III
5. Star Wars Episode II

Don't get me wrong. I haven't seen "Gigli" or "Glitter" or... well, anything with Jessica Alba (except "Sin City", which I did not care for). "Mr. Wrong" probably should be removed for the simple reason that *no one* has ever seen it, but I digress...

We have a new contender! And it's making its debut at no less than the third spot! Congratulations should be extended to the former #3 and #4 for bumping down a notch and a big thumbs up to Episode II for not showing enough of Hayden Christensen to stay on the list.

And the new number three? "Confessions of a Shopaholic", which I saw tonight with some of the girls (Lacour escaped unscathed).

I'm not sure which part was worse. Perhaps it was the creepy mannequins that kept talking to and winking at the main character. Perhaps it was the Lucille Ball-esque slapstick comedy. (I swear that some of those gags I had actually *seen* in "I Love Lucy"... except it was funny back then.) Perhaps it was the way the debt collector harassed the main character to the point of stalking, thus ruining the stalking "joke". Perhaps it was the way that the main character wasn't just a compulsive shopper, but a compulsive liar. Or perhaps it was because I spent the entire movie wanting to strangle the main character for being a total twit. And, no matter the reason it was awful (*cough* all of the above *cough*), I think that a movie about shopping should showcase more fabulous high fashion.

In all, I think I might have cracked a smile once. I *know* that this was the first time I've ever sent a text to someone in the middle of a movie and desperately wished for the answer so that I would be distracted for a moment.

The text summed it up really: "Jon! This is terrible!!!"

He Has a Son Named "Root"

2009-02-11T14:49:00.002-06:00

A Sussex Spaniel won Westminster last night - his name is Stump and, at 10, he's the oldest winner of Westminster by almost 2 years. (The next oldest winner was in 1999, a Papillion and the first show where I established my habit of watching every year.)

I didn't see it last night though, because of the dratted storm - we lost power about 10 times in 20 minutes and then the cable didn't come back until long after midnight. It made me a sad bear to miss it.

Thank goodness for reruns - I saw the Best in Show judging in my break between classes this morning. That funny little Stump is rather endearing. Congrats, Stump! :D

(I apologize for the picture with more people than puppies, but this was the only one I could find that didn't have a lot of feet in it...)

Westminster Time Again

2009-02-09T21:21:00.002-06:00

Usually I have to take a few hours out from studying for finals to see the Westminster Dog Show, but this year, finals were over beforehand. It's nice not feeling guilty for watching one of my few weird annual traditions. And this was definitely not the year to take off from studying, even for a those few hours.

In case you were wondering, the Pedigree commercials are killing me. Charlie is wondering why I keep giving him desperate hugs.

Some of the actual show is difficult for me too, though. Bulldogs - both English and French - and pugs often require C-sections to be born. (These I know, but there are others, I think.) Pugs need to be artificially inseminated - selective breeding has made it nearly impossible for normal mating. I find this not just excessive but downright cruel to take away from an animal's nature. It doesn't even improve the breed - several of these breeds have problems that extend far beyond birth complications, including cherry eye (a third inverted eyelid! sounds fun, eh?) and cleft palettes. EW.

I guess my tradition of watching this show every year is a bit ironic then. I get sad at the commercials and some of the content of the show too. I do love most of it though. Right now, the rough collie (the Lassie dog) is showing. She's beautiful and looks happy. And that makes me feel better.

So does Uno, last year's winner, who made a cameo earlier tonight. :)

Bye-bye to My Year

2009-01-26T19:40:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year, all! It's the first day of the new year of the ox. If you're an ox (which you are if you're born a multiple of 12 years back from this year), you're supposed to be dependable, hardworking, logical and modest. You can also be stubborn and materialistic.

... Yeah, that pretty much describes what you would imagine as an anthropomorphic ox. Anyway, marrying into a Chinese family, this sort of thing was always a favorite past-time. My mother-in-law (with help from *her* mother-in-law) would run through all the attributes of one or another of the kids based on their zodiac animal, and we'd all laugh about who matched their description. Then there was the inevitable match-making round where their zodiac was compared to that of their significant other.*

Either way, the Chinese New Year would end in eating lots of food, especially chicken (I don't know why) and little peanut butter pastries I forget the name of. In the last few years, the family hasn't gotten together as much, but I still enjoy thinking about it and hoping it'll happen again. Maybe one day I'll attempt to make the peanut butter things. (Probably not.)

*Jon and I, as a pig and rat respectively, got the stamp of approval.

Our Life

2009-01-14T00:54:00.003-06:00

My entire semester was summed up in a binder and an afternoon today - i.e. a trial notebook and some awesome cross examinations. Yes, kids - it was Big Trial day. We actually won, closing out the PC season for team ALV & Yee at 3-1. More important than that - it is OVER. Woo! A weight has lifted. I was literally grinning in the car and then babbled into the phone to my mother for ages, hardly taking the time to breathe.

Now we have 2 1/2 weeks to... outline, study and try to pass the final exam. Wait a minute...

Skewed Priorities

2009-01-07T17:59:00.005-06:00

The apartment complex caught fire today. Not my section, but a neighboring one. Apparently, even kitchen fires (I assume it was something minor like that, as firefighters were quickly switching out of 'oh noes!!!1!!' mode) require the entire Waco Fire Department to show up. No less than FOUR firetrucks showed up, plus the fire chief's SUV. I mean, I know it's not always indicative of the severity of the fire, but I didn't see smoke. I also saw the trucks pulling away 5 minutes later. The girls whose apartment it was were running around like Armageddon had decided to pay a personal visit though.

The thing is - I wasn't that interested. I was running late for class. The most pressing thing on my mind was how likely it would be that my professor accepted the excuse of "my apartment complex caught on fire and the firetrucks were blocking the only exit gate". And then I could only thank God that those girls decided to light their place on fire *after* PC, not before...

Merry Christmas to All...

2008-12-24T22:22:00.002-06:00

... and to all, a Good Night.

Instead, I Caught A Cold

2008-12-05T11:05:00.003-06:00

There's a study out there that says happiness is contagious. Not just from/to your nearest and dearest though - people more removed from you have a greater impact on your mood. There's some skepticism in the article about that - the idea that your neighbor can affect you more than your spouse - but I believe it. We get so comfortable with the people we see all the time that we've probably gotten used to their fluctuations in happiness and the like.

As someone that has been having a truly wretched week, I think I need some extremely happy people in the upstairs apartment.

Dick Wolf Wants You!

2008-11-21T14:18:00.003-06:00

Has anyone been following the criminal case with VP Cheney and AG Gonzales as defendants, down in south Texas? There are other defendants (such as other judges and prosecutors) in this case, which accuses the defendants of prisoner abuse, but we all know why this keeps popping up in my "Top Headlines" section when I log into Yahoo.

Anyway, the prosecutor in the case is a guy named Guerra. He lost the last election, partly (mostly?) because of the (now dismissed) indictments against him of extortion and misuse of public office. Most of the people he has indicted in this case worked to get *his* indictment. He said he would only stay during a hearing if the judge asked him 'respectfully', telling the press that he would otherwise ignore the order to appear. During the hearing this morning, he stood, pounded the table with his fist and yelled at the judge for favoring the defendants and demanded the judge recuse himself from the case.

This is like something you see on bad legal-type shows. Like that new-ish one with Mark Paul Gosselaar, which is apparently about a surfer dude that must step up to the plate when his twin, lawyer brother is desperately needed, but tragically is in a coma, along with all common sense, decency and legal knowledge that should be in a courtroom. (I don't know. I haven't seen it, but that's what the commercials make me think of.)

So the question is - how much does Guerra want to become an actor? Was this his audition? I'd have started out slower - maybe gone for a governor or two before the vice president, but I suppose he's short on time since his term ends in January. Good luck, Mr. Guerra. I hope to see you with your own show as the abrasive, take-no-prisoners, unethical, volatile character you're perfecting.

It's much better than having you in a courtroom.

This Post Has Almost Become Obligatory...

2008-11-10T21:49:00.006-06:00

(Apparently, it's hilarious that I was in this situation. So here it is. Part eleventy-billion of 'people who need to think before they speak'. And for once that person wasn't me.)

So on Saturday, several of us went to celebrate ALV's birthday at the zoo. If you haven't been there (or have only been there for Immunity Day parties), it's a really cute little zoo that you can cover in an hour and cover *well* in two hours. Personally, I adore the otters or - as we have dubbed them - water puppies.

Anyway, as we're preparing to leave, I mention that we should go to see "Quantum of Solace" the following weekend and how it's disgraceful that "Twilight", coming out the weekend after that, is a real threat to the new Bond film's numbers. We begin discussing "Twilight"... by which I mean, I began berating what is sure to be a god-awful movie because it's based on the only books for which I've ever advocated book-burning.

Which is around the time that we hear this woman - complete with tattoos and one of those nose rings better suited for a bull - behind us asking if I'm talking about "Twilight" and if I am, that I need to realize they're the best books ever or she'll throw something at me. Um, what? Lady, let me count the ways you just annoyed me. First, you're eavesdropping. Second, assuming that you're holding drinks, that will be your arsenal of choice. NOT COOL. Third, and this might be a shock, but you should allow people to disagree with you - I didn't hear your threats of physical violence and then think, "Surely, I must be wrong about 'Twilight'!"

And fourth... this is a big one... you're an adult! Find a real freaking book to read. The ONLY possible exception I have for "Twilight" is that it gets kids to read - but that exception is for *kids*. You should have moved beyond this! Look elsewhere for your literary needs. Perhaps... fiction? Without the "young adult" in front of that word? Just a thought.

So yes, I was almost in a throw-down... in the zoo... surrounded by (her?) children... about children's books. It's not "Twilight" - it's the freaking Twilight Zone when that has become a reason for picking a fight with a complete stranger.

*sigh*

And, just because I know one of you out there is sputtering about how "Twilight" IS the best series ever, here's my list of why you're completely wrong:

1. It's called a Mary Sue - you know, the perfect, beautiful, smart, jeopardy-friendly girl that has charming faults like loving someone *too much* and being a klutz. Look it up. It's next to "bad writing" in the dictionary.

2. Speaking of bad writing - bad writing ahoy! You might charge me with the fact that I've never read the books. Which is true... in their entirety. But I have read the excerpts on Amazon. And I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spork. And then cut my own hands off to make sure I would never return to Amazon again, which would only happen to make sure I wasn't hallucinating the awful. Apparently, compound sentences are a bit beyond this author.

3. The vampires sparkle. SPARKLE. Remember when vampires were evil and soulless? You know, when they were... vampire-like? That's the way I like my vampires. In the words of Buffy (when she was the amnesiac Joan) - "A vampire with a soul? How lame is that?"

4. Congratulations to the author for taking unhealthy relationships to the next level. I know Disney probably screwed up my image of romance as a child, but I don't remember the Beast ever saying to Belle, "Seriously, I love you so much that if you don't love me back, I'm going to go and get myself killed. Because that is the totally sane thing to do when you're experiencing heartache and something totally appropriate for my already emo viewers to identify with. So, I hope that's cool. Love me back if you don't desire my death!" And Belle didn't try to throw herself off a cliff when she was separated from the Beast either. Just saying.

5. Aren't the first four reasons enough???

"What do you mean, 'I'm not sparkly enough'?"

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T15:23:00.004-06:00

My sole accomplishment of the day (so far - I'm more productive at night... usually) was going to vote. I actually went out of my way, as the first place I went was incorrectly marked on the website as an early voting station. So I drove the opposite direction to get to the *real* voting station, stood in line, figured out the *weird* little machine they have this year and cast my ballot.

I have to admit, for someone who is in the dire straits of PC finals and is suffering from pure, unadulterated dread, it felt rather... uplifting. Not for the presidential election - pfft, I'm aware this is Texas and my vote doesn't matter *there* - but maybe for the local elections.

As a side note - going anywhere on Halloween always turns out to be confusing for me. I saw a nun, complete with a large, wooden cross, at the polling station. Was she really a nun? I haven't seen one in an actual habit since I was about 5. If she wasn't though, that was a fantastic costume... Same goes for the guy who I swear was carrying the carved, 6-foot walking stick and wearing a dashiki.

Charlie says, "Happy Halloween!"

Or, I Could Play Poker Professionally

2008-10-25T19:28:00.002-06:00

The ABA is telling graduates to have back-up plans, in case they can't get jobs.

... Yeah, I'm trying not to be bitter and sarcastic right here. Anyway...

What's my back-up plan? Going back to school, taking some literature courses and becoming an English teacher.

Or I could open a non-profit, no-kill animal shelter.

Or I could go to graduate school, become a psychologist and listen to other people's problems... hahahahahaha. Okay, that one was for my own amusement.

Or I could open a bar. (No, not a joke. Also, notice the smooth way I separated this one from the teacher idea.)

That's a good start. Also, I'm adept at watching TV, eating fruit snacks, cuddling puppies, playing online, playing video games, criticizing fashion choices, sleeping past noon, shopping for myself and making delicious grilled cheese sandwiches. I'm willing to get paid for doing any and all of those things.

Want my resume?

They (Both!) Have Senses of Humor

2008-10-19T15:40:00.001-06:00

I tried to post this a couple days ago, but it went all crazy. Apparently, I shouldn't have dared to link to McCain's lead-in to this speech. So go find it yourself. Needless to say, McCain wasn't as funny, but I appreciate the effort.

What's better than politicians telling jokes? Part awkward, part witty and part "a little too awesome".

The Long and Winding Road

2008-10-10T21:06:00.004-06:00

I have the schedule for the last mini-trial exercise. I have a case. I have a witness (well, 95% sure I do). I have a weekend to do some serious outlining. The end of this quarter is in sight.

And I am ready to just give up, curl up and go to sleep for a year.

According to others, I'm long overdue for a nervous breakdown. Apparently, I'll feel better. But who has the time?

Officially Broken

2008-09-30T12:53:00.002-06:00

Broken or old. I'm not sure. Either way, I'd been noticing my shoulder acting up lately. I don't exactly play sports, and I'm pretty sure my joints aren't predicting the upcoming weather patterns, so it was a mystery. When I sat down to work a couple nights ago, I leaned over my notes, felt the tell-tale twinge and said to myself, "Oh, duh." Yes, I've been writing too much. Or writing the wrong way. Or I'm just addicted to my computer to the point that hand-writing is physically strenuous.

Anyway, those little disposable heating pads that you stick on your body for 8 hours are *awesome*. When I went to get some from Target yesterday though, I was in the aisle with 3 women all over the age of 65. I managed to avoid feeling excessively old and frail before my time by remembering that I was buying Finding Nemo fruit snacks too, as if I'm 12. Still, I hope it's not a look into the future, and that I won't be buying those heating pads in bulk for my arthritis.

Of course, I'll take that in a second rather than being in the next aisle over in the incontinence section.

Only Sorta About PC

2008-09-22T17:11:00.003-06:00

I caught the ending of "The Usual Suspects" today, as I actually don't have so much reading that it'll make my eyes bleed (although I do still have to do *something* about my big direct/cross this Thursday - but yay! I have a witness!). Kevin Spacey always reminds me of that weird category of actor that both interests and repels me. Of course, so far he's the only one in that category. Most actors/actresses either repel me - i.e. Jeremy Piven or Teri Hatcher (nowadays - she was so cute in the 90s! What the eff happened to her???). Or they interest me, even if they are so very odd - i.e. Angelina Jolie making me wonder what she'll say when her kids start hearing about her pre-Pitt life or Tim Burton because I watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas"* over the weekend for the first time in 10 years and just have to wonder what's up with his brain.

I'm sure all these people are probably dull as dishwater in real life. Or, ironically, maybe the ones I find interesting are dull while Jeremy Piven and Teri Hatcher would gain my rapt attention. (I highly doubt this.) All I know is that I enjoy judging them by what they wear to awards shows. Which probably goes to show that I'm just as shallow as they are. Or maybe I'm the only shallow one. (I doubt that too - I can't be the only shallow one.)

If you thought there was a point to this, there's not. I just wanted to avoid reading for an extra few minutes and decided to ramble after reading about fashion mistakes at the Emmys. Although the shallow bit made me think of one of my favorite Futurama quotes, which makes me even happier. So there was a point. For me.

*I got it for my birthday and felt that I could stand to take 2 hours out of my weekend to finally watch it. Sheesh. Gimme a break.

Witness Needed

2008-09-15T21:11:00.004-06:00

Hey all you non-PC people, it's that time of year again. I am sadly lacking 1Ls and 2Ls that I know who are willing to surrender an afternoon or so in order to get a glimpse of what PC is really like. Oh, you know you're curious.

So here's the deal. For now, I need a witness for big direct/cross for Thursday, September 25. I'm going last (supposedly from 3:40 to 5:00) - I'm uncertain if you have to be there, as I do, from 1:00. Probably not?

Anyway, I'm willing to buy you lunch or bring snacks or whatever while we go over your deposition. Anything else that you want is negotiable. If you have to stay the entire time, I'm obviously more amenable to bigger rewards.

Or you could just do it out of the kindness of your heart. Ha.

EDIT: If you don't want to leave a comment and volunteer, you can email me - my first name is Sarah and I hope you know my last name by now. And just to clarify, when I said "negotiable", that means that yes, I am willing to pay you.

So Much More Time To Go

2008-09-07T19:36:00.004-06:00

My mom called last night and asked what I was up to these days. I said that at the moment, I was reading. "It's Saturday night!" she replied. Oh, yes, I know.

You know, I'm finding that I don't really mind the constant reading. Well, I do, but it's not like I can say that it's surprising in any way. What I do mind is the other side of the coin - having no time to do anything else whatsoever. I have to plan grocery store trips days in advance and when I go to Office Depot for more highlighters, my heart gets all fluttery because I'm not at home studying. Blech on that, I say. Blech.

Riiiight. Okay, I'm going to try not to whine for a few minutes here... Ummm... Oh! I know! Here's some pathetic news - Jon has already outlasted 2 other new teachers. They were science teachers in front of roughly 40 students per period (as opposed to Jon's 25, or 30 in one class), but good grief. Two down already. This news came on the same day that Jon had to call security because a fist fight broke out in his classroom, so perhaps this shouldn't be surprising. Isn't 17 years old a little too old for making fun of the dorky guy in the class? I guess not...

It all makes us feel a bit old. We were in Pre-AP classes in high school, and that's a whole different animal from regulars classes, but it still seems that kids are expecting less and less responsibility these days.* Jon's kids were actually complaining that he gave them homework every night. As a general rule, we're not talking about kids involved in a lot of after-school activities here. I'm not sure what they want the extra free time for... I'm not sure I want to know.

*I know, that statement alone makes me sound old. I'm having a flashback to that scene in "The Breakfast Club" where the janitor is telling the principal that "Kids haven't changed. You have!"

Another's First Week

2008-08-28T11:20:00.005-06:00

I thought I'd mention that Jon is doing increasingly better with his first days of teaching. The first day was chaos (not just his classes - the entire school, because of various administrative mess-ups). The second day had several students still stuck in summer mode. Yesterday was infinitely better and he came home with an actual smile - the first I'd seen since Sunday. He has students that actually want to learn and that seem to understand what he has started to teach to them. I'm particularly proud of him for helping out a student of his that came to the US 2 weeks ago and doesn't know English - the ESL teacher didn't even know she existed until Jon brought it to her attention and now the girl is going to get help learning the language.

But he did inform me of the latest fad to hit high school fashion (as much as "fashion" can be applied to such a place) - leaving the tags on your clothes so that people will know how much you've spent on them. (Also for the sake of possibly returning them after wearing - something that greatly offends the former retail sales worker in me.)

I think this might beat out clear heels for tackiest fad ever.

(They light up! Even better!)

First Day of PC - Thoughts

2008-08-25T15:35:00.003-06:00

During PC I:

"Okay, keep calm. He's just talking about grades. No, stop freaking out. Stop it! Oh, I'm so going to be one of the people that gets a zero on their first quiz..."

"Wha-what? I read this! What is happening? 3 days? From when? Oh geez."

"No, no, no, NO. Do not be looking at me. Don't call on me! NO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *mental breath* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Please don't ask me anything that has to do with numbers. No, really. There's a reason I want to use words for a living, other than taking 40% of anything. Ah! Dang it. I have NO clue where I read that. Was I conscious yesterday? I'm starting to think not."

"Okay, that wasn't SO bad... And I'm delusional already. Great."

During PC II:

"I wish I hadn't sat this far back."

"I hope I don't look tired. I probably do - two or three hours of sleep total does that to you. I don't think I've been kept awake by fear since the night before my first law school exam almost two years ago. Must. Not. Yawn. Or slouch."

"I'm so happy I wasn't called on again... SO HAPPY. Even happier that I'm pretty sure I know the answer. This is an improvement."

"He does not sound pleased with us. Cower! Cower! Cower more!"

"Yay! Starbucks is calling me - time to go. Wait... what do you mean the afternoon session will last 2 hours? AHHhh... No, I just can't muster the strength for that. I surrender."

Lights in the Sky

2008-08-19T10:30:00.002-06:00

Excuse me while I go a bit fangirl here, but the NIN concert last night was the Best. Concert. Ever. And I've seen Tori Amos playing 3 instruments at once. But that doesn't hold a candle to the awesomeness of last night. Completely and utterly worth the hearing loss that I've probably suffered.

(The fantastic Robin Finck on lead last night.)

I do kind of worry about the couple (er, actually three people - I don't want to know) that found "Hurt" a romantic, make-out worthy song. You know, whatever floats their boat (of crazy).

Anyway, the music was fabulous (except for the opening act, which needed a sound check - but I was not there for them). Someone promised that the lighting would blow my mind and it DID. They use those clear LCD screens (THREE levels of them) to their utmost. It was fantastic. Anyone who has the chance should go. Go, go, go, before I pity you.

Nerdy Book Post

2008-08-16T09:38:00.003-06:00

So I've been reading quite a bit this week, in an attempt to enjoy the printed word again. It hasn't been working quite as well as I'd hoped.

I would love for someone to tell me what the big deal is about Gregory Maguire (author of "Wicked" and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister"). I've read both of those said books now, and I kinda want to go find Mr. Maguire and give him a lesson in proper sentence structure. This is not a sentence - "A market." No one should write sentences like that unless it's in a screenplay. Although I detested "Wicked" for being completely ludicrous and a terrible assault on a cherished story, I came close to that level with "Confessions" just because of the horrific writing. It got better as it went along, but it really shouldn't be obvious that the author spent most of his time telling himself, "This prose of mine makes this book real literature! Gosh, I'm so brilliant." I half expected his bio at the back to simply say, "I'm the king of the world!"

Anyway, I got the book for a $1 at Half-Price, so I suppose that's not such a bad cost to pay for the stupidity of giving him a second chance. I suppose I'm annoyed because it's a concept that appeals to me - retelling fairy tales so that not every character is what they have seemed to be for centuries - but my theory is that's why everyone else reads these books too. I'm just more honest about how its execution fails to live up to that concept. Or I'm just being overly-critical.

Then I read a book by Margaret Atwood called "The Penelopaid". Atwood, unlike Maguire, is one of my favorite authors, although not many live up to "The Handmaid's Tale". ("Oryx and Crake" is close.) But this one was so far from THT that I was almost depressed. It wasn't *bad*... it just wasn't the involving, mysterious book that I wanted it to be.

But that's okay. I'm going home tomorrow for a couple days, mostly to see NIN in concert (*squee*). I'll pick up a couple of my tried and true favorites, like "Jane Eyre" or "Emma"... which will promptly be left on my bedside table to get dusty, because I have PC this fall.

Sorry, it just always comes back to that.

I Still Need To Have Some Good Mexican Food

2008-08-07T16:06:00.003-06:00

It's been a week since returning to the States, and I've been all kinds of thankful to get back to what I've missed - hamburgers that taste like real beef, milkshakes with real ice cream, pedicures... and sure, my family. Of course, it also means I've gotten back to all the things I haven't missed, like political mud-slinging and car troubles.

After a week of indulging in all that I missed though, all I have left is this horrific death march towards PC. I feel like someone should be briefing me on my mission and giving me a cyanide tablet, "just in case". Lacour gave me the next best thing - a little bag of school supplies, complete with a packet of Kleenex. Cue the dread.

Okay, okay. It's not going to be two weeks of me huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth, hugging my knees and muttering to myself. I have gotten out - I finally saw "The Dark Knight". I can legitimately saw Heath Ledger is owed a posthumous Oscar. And Maggie Gyllenhaal didn't annoy me as much as I thought she would. And yesterday, I saw "Wall-E", which I'm pretty sure is going to nab Best Animated Feature because geez, I'm still melting from the cuteness there. Hello, they took essentially mute robots and made it both endearing and interesting. Although I have to say that the huge drawback of kids' movies are... you know, the kids in the theater. What does it take, parents? How many glares can you sit through before you tell your 8 and 10 year old children to shut up? Apparently, a lot. *pulls out hair*

Anyway, the point is that we're gearing up for a difficult year here and trying to enjoy the last few days of freedom. Jon just returned from his first day of workshops with WISD and has informed me of the pathetic state of Waco High in its TAKS performance - worse than we thought, although not as bad as it could be, I *guess*. He'll be teaching 11th grade math - i.e. exit level TAKS.

He'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Right?

... We're thinking about starting a pool on who cracks first.

So This Is It

2008-07-31T01:56:00.004-06:00

I'm going to be packing up my last few items and heading to the airport in a couple hours. I've been informed that I will indeed have to get my luggage and recheck it in Chicago but that they'll have a special line for us cattle that just want to get through the hell that is O'Hare. Oh gee.

So I'm dreading that. But, that is not to say I didn't live up to my promise and do lots of British-y things in my last two days. If you remember, I did promise myself to make it to the top of St. Paul's - the very, very top. 528 steps. And I did, with minimal sweating and labored breathing too. People around me were snorting like rhinos, but after 5 weeks walking around this city, it was almost TOO easy:

(This horrible picture brought to you by another tourist, who doesn't know you're supposed to focus on the person. Not that I MIND being blurry in this instance...)

I also went to Portobello Road because it was pretty and I was told it wasn't THAT dead during the week... but it was. It was the quickest jaunt to Portobello in history.

For my final day though, I had to go to the just-opened-for-2-month Buckingham Palace. It was kind of exactly like Windsor Castle, except newer looking because these State Rooms are actually used. The English really know how to make ceilings, I'll say that for them, but otherwise, it was a bit too much Louis XIV there. I kind of wonder how anyone could live there and not be freaked out constantly by the opulence. I guess you get used to it. They did have a special room where, for the first time, it was set up as if a State Dinner was going on. That was really gorgeous - definitely a party to get invited to, if you can. I was glad I went, but not overly excited by the actual content.

The back of Buckingham (we all know what the front looks like, I'm assuming?):

And then last night, we met Jeff of BLS fame. He's wandering around Europe and decided to wander over to London. Drinks were bought and then - after realizing he had somehow missed it - we took him to see Big Ben, all lit up.... Then they turned it off and we realized we should be going home. As in, home home.

But not before ALV dared me to climb the famous lions in Trafalgar Square. So I did.

Goodbye, London!

Exams? What?

2008-07-28T09:41:00.009-06:00

So today is the big exam day. Most of the others have theirs spread out over 3 days, but I had 2 today and the third is a take-home due tomorrow, so instead of torturing myself at the last minute, I plan to do it tonight at get it over with. Once you're past about 3:30 in London (when my exam ended), there's not a lot to do anyway. Well, nothing that doesn't include the word "pint".

And let's be honest, they're summer classes. Yes, now I know what Incoterms 2000 is, but when one of the questions is "What is a sight draft?", I'm glad I didn't worry too much about the exams.

Instead, I took full advantage of my weekend. Friday was the Tate Modern, which ranges from "interesting" to "I'd put that in my living room - definitely a conversation piece" to "oh GOD, what IS that?... Do I... do I... no, I don't want to know!" (Seriously, there were pieces made with blood - the artist was German. Go figure.) I did get to walk across the Millenium Bridge to get to it though, which was nice, if a bit warmish (that's the Tate in the background):

That night was our last(?) pub crawl, during which I took many a fuzzy photo of Big Ben and the London Eye at night, which I won't subject you to. We did walk (and drink) along the Thames though, which was rather nice:

(I guess that's kind of fuzzy and in the dark too... oh well. Hey look! St. Paul's!)

Saturday was full of British-ness. We went to the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham, which was probably one of the most aggravating experiences of my life. And I once dealt with the US Border Patrol when my taxi driver was an Iraqi - and that still comes in below this one. We got a fortunate place against the fence but were so crushed and abused by people around us, that I had to repeatedly (and quite seriously) tell myself that both the cops and guards had mega-bad-ass weapons and were not afraid to use them. Some people don't understand the concept of personal space. Or deodorant. Or making sure your kids don't step on and kick random strangers. They understand a surprising amount of English swear words though, no matter where they're from. Yeah, a few choice words definitely get their attention and their butts out of your face. (I'm being quite literal about that - they were hoisting themselves up on the fence and I was just the right height to get a disturbing and up-close view.)

Anyway... it was actually kind of boring. I mean, the band was good and I'm glad I did it in order to check it off my list, but I don't need to see it again. Ever. Most of the pictures are pretty dull too. This is the closest we got:

Yeah, those guys just kept walking back and forth. I don't understand the English and their odd traditions.

But after that, we went over to Regent's Park and saw "Twelfth Night" in the open air theater. It's my favorite and it was really quite good. I even recognized a few of the actors from BBC shows and the like.

Yesterday, my procrastination continued as I took a boat down the Thames to Greenwich. It was lovely - the hike up to the Royal Observatory is quite steep, but the Old Royal Naval College is gorgeous. We just sat for quite awhile enjoying the beautiful weather. We even went to the Trafalgar Tavern, which Dickens apparently frequented (and wrote about, I believe). In continuing the "Brits are morbid", I went through the National Maritime Museum to see the coat Lord Nelson died in. He was much littler than you would think...

Here's the Royal Observatory:

And me standing on the Prime Meridian, looking like a dork. I also have a picture of me on the equator in Ecuador... looking like a dork...:

The loveliness that was the Old Royal Naval College (just one side of it):

And the inside of the Painted Hall at the ORNC:

So, I feel like I accomplished more in my weekend than just studying. :) Two more days though! And then I'm off, back to home on Thursday. So I'll probably post once more Wednesday night - we'll see if I'm in frantic packing mode.

Oh, and just a note to STA - when you say "non-stop flight", most people don't count when you land in Chicago, make everyone get off the plane and then reload us into different seats 2 hours later... Do you think I'm going to have to go through customs and recheck my bag??? *dies*

The Final Countdown

2008-07-24T07:04:00.005-06:00

Yup, I'm kinda ready to go home. I miss Jon and Charlie and my parents and my friends. I've gotten used to them not being around (especially the ones I see rarely anyway, since I'm in Waco and most of them are in Dallas) but it's getting frustrating that I can't call up my mom and chat for 45 minutes or text Maggie about something utterly girly/catty or hug Jon when he, you know, gets a teaching job.

But, I'm not going to waste my last week here. I have lots of stuff planned, including a few very British-y things like seeing Shakespeare in Regent's Park and watching the Changing of the Guard and walking up the dome of St. Paul's. I've already done a few things this week which are quite touristy and yet I hadn't got to it yet. Monday was a short trek to the Burberry outlet - yes, I got something, but not a $500 trench (even though that's pretty much a steal since they usually go for far, far more). I even resisted the normally $1700 leather jacket that was marked down to $300 on clearance. My mother's words of "you live in Texas - why do you need a leather jacket?" kept ringing in my head. Even though I still want one, it was not meant to be that particular one. Ah well - the woes of being a poor shopaholic.

Tuesday I walked down to the Tate Britain alone and wandered about.

It was farther away than it looked on the map and - of course - the weather has turned quite warm in the last couple of days. Eighty degrees is HOT when you're walking in the sun and no place has air conditioning. Anyway, the Tate is rather charming and on the Thames, but I think that I've seen enough J. M. W. Turner to last a LIFETIME. Seriously - I saw the exhibit at the DMA right before I left and apparently, the artist bequeathed a large number of his works to the Tate to the point where they have a whole section dedicated to him. It was like "yes, yes - another boat in the middle of the ocean. I GET IT." Even though I really do like a lot of his work, it was getting to be a bit much. But I did it and now I can say that I've seen more Turner than the average. Woo.

Yesterday was the National Portrait Gallery, which is actually connected to the National Gallery (go figure) and therefore, right next to the school. It's nice when you're just looking to spend a lazy afternoon walking about - you can skip several of the descriptions in the galleries that are full of boring statesmen or noblemen. They're all Britons and so I usually only read the description if I recognized the name. Oh, and all the descriptions in the "Royalty, Celebrity and Scandal" section because, geez, those people really gave the middle finger to polite society on frequent occasions. I did see several portraits that were quite famous too - the only (supposedly) from-life Shakespeare portrait and (something dear to only me, I'm sure), the one of two from-life Jane Austen portraits done by her sister, Cassandra (which is supposedly not at all a good likeness, which is good, since she looks homely and unhappy in it).

For various reasons, I'm taking today off - it's really quite warm and there was a small fiasco of running around Covent Garden, which completely destroyed my desire to go ahead with my plan of more walking around Hyde Park. I also haven't slept very well since before Scotland, so I think it's early to bed tonight so that I can get up and be fresh for my last week in London.

A Fantastic Weekend

2008-07-21T02:03:00.012-06:00

I now have a retirement plan - I'm moving to Scotland, buying a Highland cow and some sheep and living out the rest of my days surrounded by the most beautiful countryside ever with the most darling accent ever being spoken around me.

Yes, I - like ALV did in Ireland - have communed with my ancestors by traveling to the old country. I'm going to ignore the fact that that term for me also includes not only where I've been for the past several weeks, but also Germany and France. Whatever. The point is, my whirlwind 2 days in Scotland were fantastic and I'm going back as soon as financially possible for a proper visit.

We arrived quite early on Saturday and had to amuse ourselves in central Glasgow until our hotel room was ready, so we first went to the Gallery of Modern Art. We thought it would take quite some time, but it was quite a bit smaller than expected. There were many pieces that we simply did not get, but some were at least interesting if not lovely. This is one of the interesting ones:

Afterwards, we went back to George Square, where our hotel was and where they were having an army-sponsored thing called the Piper's Trail. There was some dumb skit involved, but it was punctuated by piping and dancing and kilts. We were unfortunately in the back row:

After we nabbed our hotel room, we still had a couple hours to kill so we went to The Lighthouse, which is dedicated to architecture and design and, in particular, Glasgow's darling - Charles Rennie Mackintosh. It's not a proper lighthouse of course, as it's in the middle of the city, but it does provide some great views of Glasgow from the top of the Mackintosh Tower (the spiral staircase of which was more practice for St. Paul's):

That pretty much got us to 2 pm, in time for the Whisky Bus. Oh yes. There's more. Specifically, my most "communing with the ancestors" bit - drinking scotch. (They really were involved in the trade of scotch, so I'm not making this up. I think they would have appreciated their descendant enjoying good scotch.) Anyway, we went to Glengoyne Distillery and hello - gorgeousness abounded:

The waterfall from which they (and some 17 other, now closed distilleries) traditionally got their water:

And hey, even more gorgeousness (yes, I'm talking about our adorable guide in the kilt and I don't apologize for it!):

I couldn't take pictures inside the distillery, of course, because you know, there'd be a big boom with my electrical device and all the alcohol vapors. But it was pretty interesting stuff and I think that I've been converted to a scotch drinker for life.

After the ride back into Glasgow, we were pretty hungry, so we decided that while in Scotland, we must do as the Scots do. We ate haggis. And you know, it was actually really good. I expected to take a bite and push it away in disgust based upon my mother's descriptions of exactly how they make haggis, but it was delicious! It tasted exactly like what you would expect of a sheep product - like mutton, only richer. The closest I can describe it is that it was like lamb liverwurst. It does color everything else you're eating for the meal, but I'd definitely do it again.

Since we had gotten up to get to the airport at roughly 2 am that morning, we were quite tired. And you'd think that once we got to the hotel, there would be no more excitement. I kind of wish that had been true... but the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. After much grogginess and confusion, we trooped downstairs, smelling *something* burning all the way. It must have been a small kitchen fire, since we barely saw the firemen and we were allowed back in a short bit later, but don't let it be said that we had a moment of non-excitement. I did feel rather sorry for the bride and groom that had been still partying in the reception hall though - that must have been a short damper on their spirits.

On Sunday, we trekked over to another of C. R. Mackintosh's famous designs, the Willow Tea Rooms. How darling is English afternoon tea? Very (imagine a couple more sandwiches... we were hungry):

And finally, we went to one of the weirdest museums known to man, the Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery:

It had fossils. It had French, Dutch and Italian art. It had Dali. It had stuffed animals (as in the kind that used to be alive and now... aren't). It had mummies. It had an organ (and an organist playing while we were there). It had armor. It had a Spitfire:

And, of course, the elusive haggis:

I didn't even get to half of Glasgow, much less the rest of Scotland. So it's clear I'll have to go back. And live there.

Lots of No Picture Stuff

2008-07-16T14:51:00.003-06:00

The past three days have been, in some ways, more adventurous than I would have preferred. But these things happen. If you recall, I tried to go to an Old Bailey court proceeding awhile ago and on Monday, I returned. It is a LONG trek, made longer by the fact that we had to first go back to the dorm and drop off our large bags and cameras. But it was a nice day, so we did it, arriving shortly after 2 pm, which is when court started up again. We almost missed the public gallery entrance, as it's marked in tiny letters on an unassuming door. (ALV spotted it - I would have circled forever.) Once inside, we endured the most thorough security check I have EVER been through. And that's including the bag search in Ecuador that involved guards with Uzis. I got FRISKED. She also looked at every single receipt I've accumulated in my purse for the past three weeks, as if I could give someone a deadly paper cut. And then, of course, there was a metal detector. London has been having considerable problems with fatal knife attacks recently, but this was rather ridiculous. Especially when we realized that the public gallery, once we got there, is roughly thirty feet above the main court. Unless I'm Spidey, there's no way I'd be getting down into the pit with the barristers.

Oh well. We settled in... for 30 minutes of opening argument. It was a shaken baby case, which is significantly better than a DUI, but I did spend half of the time trying to figure out if the woman speaking was on the side of the Crown or the defense. We missed her introduction to the jury, and she was so deferential to the other side, that I was wholly confused for a bit there. It took me quite awhile to figure out that she was prosecuting the nanny (instead of defending the parents, for instance). Once opening arguments were finished, we were ushered out by a no-nonsense guard. Well, that was that.

Yesterday was significantly more successful - we went to St. Martin in the Fields' lunchtime concert. Usually it's some private school choir or the like, but this time it was a Beethoven Festival award winner from Russia and he was quite fantastic. He played a rather odd piece by CPE Bach and then a gorgeous piece by Beethoven (of course). It was lovely and free (aside from donations). Even if I don't manage to get to one of the "proper" evening concerts there, I feel like I've listened to wonderful music and got more than my measly donation's worth. The inside of the church is, by the way, quite gorgeous, except for this weird window treatment that looks very modern amidst very French woodwork and gilt. It was odd and unfortunately, you just have to take my word for it, as there were no pictures allowed.

The fun kept on going today as ALV and I hopped down to the Salvadore Dali museum this afternoon after classes. It is, just as it was the first time I went, TRIPPY. And kinda fantastic too. It doesn't have "Persistence of Memory" of course, but it has a lot of his sculpture, a few furniture pieces and lots and lots of his drawings. He was a strange guy, no doubt. Who else would think of making a lobster into a telephone?

After contemplating dropping our non-existent $30,000 on a genuine Dali bronze at the small gallery at the end, we hurried back to the school for the most boring information lecture EVER about how to use our exam software. They seriously told us how to spell-check. I wish I were kidding. Anyway, we only sat through it because they had a wine & cheese party straight afterwards. Free wine? Yes, thank you. It was quite good actually - I don't even care for wine (although it's a personal mission on this trip to start liking it). After fine wine and fancy cheese, we were hesitant to go back to the Hall and eat the slop they try to force down our throats, so we went to a tapas bar instead. It was freaking fantastic.

Well, except for a crazy guy at the next table, who began complaining bitterly to the waiter as soon as we sat down that he hadn't seen his girlfriend/wife/whatever for months and he had specifically requested a private table. We were lost... a) you expect a private table at a place advertising all you can eat tapas for a tenner? and b) WHAT are you so keen to talk about with your girlfriend/wife/whatever over dinner that you absolutely don't want people three feet away to hear? Actually, I know the answer to that question, but um... there's a time and place for that. In the middle of a busy restaurant is NOT it. All of this would have been fine except for the fact that the both of them started turning to us mid-complaint and saying "Really, it's not you. It's just we want some time alone. It's not you!" But so clearly, folks, IT IS. Thanks ever so for making us feel uncomfortable as you alternately berate the waitstaff and apologize to us for something that should not involve us at all. I wish it ended there, but unfortunately, the host got very upset and essentially told the very rude customer to leave if he was so unhappy - they simply could not assure him a "private" table. The V.R.C. then proceeded to FOLLOW the host around the restaurant, continuing to complain and bitch AND telling other patrons exactly how rude said host had been.

What a mess. But after the V.R.C. left, we did have a fantastic dinner that involved many a tapas for a tenner. And on the way home, I did snap this one photo of the oddest little parade I've ever seen - dozens and dozens of people on roller blades, skating to weird techno from stereos strapped to a few people's backs. It's blurry, but in light of what I've been exposed to today, I'm going to call it surrealist art:

I Only Wanted to Throttle a Few People - Really!

2008-07-13T09:14:00.009-06:00

So I'm pretty sure that the second best museum in town (after the incomparable British Museum) is the Victoria & Albert Museum, down near Kensington. ALV and I went down there Friday after classes and had fun pretending to decorate our fictitious mansions with the gorgeous stuff there. ALV went for an ornate French style and I was very much drawn (as I usually am) to the simpler Asian look. The best section was probably the new jewels exhibit, which only opened recently and was not something I'd seen last time I was here. If I had, Jon would have made a quick exit for all the sighing I was doing over the pretty, pretty shiny things. Photographs were allowed inside, but not in the jewel exhibit, which was really the only bit I wanted to photograph. (I did take a few pictures in the courtyard, mainly of the beautiful hydrangea flowers they have, but they've mussed it all up with this hideous new sculpture that fills the lawn. It looked like they were doing construction and I'm still not entirely certain that they weren't.)

Yesterday was an adventure of getting to Windsor Castle, outside the city. We had to go to Paddington Station to get the train and oh good Lord, I hate First Great Western Rail. National Rail said they had a line direct to Windsor but instead of answering our questions ("Where is National Rail in this station?"), FGW employees told us instead to take THEIR train. Thanks, that's not what we asked though. By the end, although we figured out that Windsor Castle's section on "How to Get There" probably needs updating, we were very, VERY reticent at giving FGW any business whatsoever. I was seriously considering creating a scene, which would have included much more colorful versions of asking our one, simple question. But that probably would have broken my own singular rule for this trip - that is, don't get arrested. *sigh* Well, anyway, I was a BIT mollified by finally seeing the Paddington Bear statue at the station:

(If you don't know who Paddington Bear is, your childhood was severely lacking in one of the cutest series of books ever.)

Anyway, we finally (and begrudgingly) took the FGW train and got to Windsor. And then we waited outside as security people made a hash of handling the crowd. (My one non-colorful comment was that if these were the people that helped protect the Queen, she was toast.) After our personal space was violated more times than I could count, we finally got inside. It was, thank goodness, rather pretty:

The Round Tower:

This bit you're not allowed to go into, since it's a "working castle residence" and the royal family actually goes there. Although I don't think I'd ever be comfortable about looking outside my window and seeing tourists gawking over the fence:

St. George's Chapel:

The State Apartments were pretty and full of really fancy furniture that no one has sat on in 50+ years. I wish I could have at least taken pictures of the ceilings which were, oddly, the prettiest parts. That was workmanship, certainly. But overall, it was not as much as I expected, considering the price especially. On the other hand, I've seen it AND I had a very stereotypical English lunch of Shepherd's Pie, which I've always wanted to try. It was quite fantastic, actually.

Still, it was a lot to do and a lot of unnecessary aggravation, so I've taken it easy today. (Again.) My annoyance at yesterday's crowds resurfaced when I tried to go back to the British Museum to see the bits I had missed the first time around. Unfortunately, that included the room with the Egyptian mummies and geez, you couldn't even move in that room. And those audio tour things just make everything worse - people just stand in the middle of the room, in the way, staring blankly at stuff they would have moved right by otherwise. When I came close to tearing one out of an oblivious person's hand when they kept stepping on me, I knew it was time to leave. So I gave up and came back to the Hall. I'll try again after the 24th, when the exhibit on Hadrian opens (I hope there are no audio tours of that). Jon will be sorry he missed it, and I'll have to take a lot of pictures there.

Speaking of Jon (and I don't know why I forgot to mention this last time), I did receive good news from home from him - he officially has a job working as a math teacher for Waco ISD! "Exciting" doesn't even begin to describe how we both feel about this. In two years, Jon has worked at some god-awful jobs (2 of the 3 really were terrible, even in the "if I don't work, we can't pay rent or eat" standard). I am thrilled that that town has finally scrounged up a job that my overly-qualified husband can take without feeling as if college were a waste. He will be an excellent teacher, because he has precisely what good teachers need - intelligence, never-ending patience and a sense of humor.

Lawyers and Liquor - Together Forever

2008-07-10T16:21:00.007-06:00

I've been rather boring for the past couple of days. This is why most vacations are usually only a couple weeks long - you just get burnt out constantly doing things. You need a vacation from your vacation. London seemed to agree, as it's been constantly raining and/or looking threatening to the point where staying home under the covers sounds SO much better.

Actually, on Tuesday, we honestly tried to do something both touristy AND lawyerly - we trekked all the way over to the Old Bailey to watch the criminal proceedings. Unfortunately, we had our backpacks... and cameras... and we came right in the middle of lunch hour (more like lunch two hours). So we downed our most expensive beers yet and toddled back to the Hall. Since I won't be bringing my camera back to the Old Bailey next time we go, here's a picture from the shady back road we took:

Last night, despite the rain, we did do one fabulous thing - we went to the Absolut Ice Bar. It was freaking fantastic, even if I was bitterly reminded of exactly why I left New York. They keep it at 5 below zero and serve the drinks in ice glasses. It's small and you only get a bit of time in there, but it was worth it. I understand the attraction of that ice hotel that they build up north every winter.

Me in the ice chair, looking stylish in my thermal cape (this is before I realized I had accidentally turned off my flash, but it lets the blue come out more, even if it is fuzzy):

Our wonderful bartender who let us stay between sessions since we showed up late and even gave us extra splashes of vodka in our drinks:

All us girls (and the discovery of the flash!):

Yes, definitely a must-see/must-drink if you're ever in London.

Holiday Weekend

2008-07-07T08:50:00.007-06:00

It's a lazy Monday, full of muffins at an adorable place called The Cinnamon Bar (the tables are full of cinnamon under glass) and laundry. I only have one class on Mondays - European and International Labor Law - and thank goodness, because the European Courts of Justice write their cases like I write blog entries - without editing and little logic. It's translated from German (or is it French?) so maybe that's the issue, but I doubt it. I think the ECJ just enjoys being cryptic, like Yoda, only not as squat and green (although, I haven't seen the ECJ panel - maybe they are squat and green...). I haven't memorized all the EU treaties like they have, so it's a little slow going when they refer to roughly 50 different parts of 3 treaties within 2 sentences. I would fear for getting out alive except that many of my classmates (excluding ALV, of course) seem to forget the "school" part of "summer school" and have taken to showing up to our 11:15 class hung over and without note-taking implements. After BLS, it's kind of shocking. It's weird that I only have culture shock inside the classroom, surrounded by Americans (and a few Australians).

Anyway, ALV spent her weekend in Ireland, so I toured London over the weekend with others. July 4th was celebrated in Covent Garden (the theatre district) with a Indian food and English pubbing (I heart irony). Saturday was spent walking around Portobello Road Market, where everything I loved was ungodly expensive, proving once again that I have costly (but very good) taste. Speaking of ungodly expensive, I went to the movies on Saturday night to see Sex and the City (no one with me wanted to see, oddly enough, Wanted - that'll have to wait, I suppose). It was a movie I could have just as easily waited to see on HBO, but it was a nice night out, I suppose. British cinemas are strange, we discovered, as we sat and watched what was the longest string of commercials EVER before the movie started. It clocked in at 27 minutes and included only 2 actual trailers, one of which I'd seen before. My mother said that British ads were amusing, but she hasn't been here in about 15 years. 15 years changes a lot, apparently.

Yesterday, a friend and I took the Underground to Kew Gardens and walked around for 4 1/2 hours, despite the wind and on-and-off rain. It's really lovely, actually, and I don't even know anything about plants.

I liked the Water Lily House the best, with the giant water lilies that I've seen in Peru:

Kew Gardens is, of course, home to Kew Palace. George III lived there during his bouts of porphyria and Queen Charlotte died there. We saw the actual chair in which she died, which was creepy and reaffirmed my belief that Brits are rather morbid:

I liked the Japanese Gateway:

Inside the Temperate House (the largest Victorian greenhouse), there's the tallest indoor plant (a Chilean wine palm), which is 150 years old and 16 meters high:

And then we went up 18 meters into the air on the Treetop Walkway. A wee bit nerve-wracking:

After that climb, I'm feeling a bit better about my ability to get up to St. Paul's Dome sometime this trip. I swear, I'll make it this time!

And I Did Walk 1000 Miles... I Would Not Walk 1000 More

2008-07-03T15:52:00.013-06:00

Today was a tad too full of stuff - I'm about to collapse and it's only 11 pm. That or I'm old. Let's say that I'm just worn out for the day though, and not the rest of my life as I know it.

First was a trip to the British Museum. Ironically, my first trip during my stay so far, although it's possibly the closest major attraction to where I'm living AND it's free.

Hey, look! This seems familiar:

I found it amusing that nowhere in the museum did they refer to these (and all the others) as the Elgin Marbles, as if they're pretending they don't have them. English snobbery amuses me when it's not directed at the Scots:

I miss Charlie (but I'm glad he's not this big... or made of stone):

This is a new addition since 2 years ago. I wonder why...:

After the museum, I went to meet a group of the summer students for a "Legal Walking Tour", which would have been far more interesting if it hadn't been raining off and on at the one time I forgot my umbrella. And I'm still not sure I understand how you become a barrister in England, but I do know that it sounds like entirely too much hassle and heartache. I have a new appreciation for the LSAT.

Gray's Inn (one of the Four Inns of Court) has pretty much one famous member - Sir Francis Bacon:

Lincoln's Inn, under the church, where the orphans were left during the 1700s when times weren't going so well:

Where barristers and judges have been getting their robes and wigs for hundreds of years:

The Royal Courts of Justice (the civil courts). You can see the dark clouds that are threatening to pour down on us, which they did just a short time later:

And the famous Temple Church, built by the Knights Templar in the 11th century:

It was at this point that the rain soaked us through and the guide, ironically, gave rather vague directions to the nearest Tube stop before leaving in the other direction - probably to get a cup of tea.

Less Exciting

2008-07-02T13:47:00.006-06:00

So I've been having a more relaxing week so far. Sunday, ALV and I traveled up and down Oxford Street, which was both fun and frustrating. "If you want to look in the store, go INSIDE the store!" as ALV pointed out. Window shopping is not very fruitful when you have thousands of people irritated at you for walking at a snail's pace.

Monday night we went to Avenue Q at Noel Coward Theatre, which was hilarious. But RAUNCHY. Puppet nudity, people! But really, I think it should be a test to see if you're too uptight - if you can't laugh at Avenue Q, you need to loosen up. I knew I'd like it from the very first song - "What Can You Do With a BA in English?" Ah yes, that is the million dollar question, isn't it?

Yesterday was Canada Day! And the only event for which I have pictures!

They played street hockey, while the announcer kept referring to the pavement as "ice" and the ball as a "puck":

Even puppies were Canadian (the man had a pipe and umbrella like a stereotypical Englishman, but I couldn't get a good shot and was too shy to ask):

ALV, before we started whining about the heat and heading home:

And what even I, who dislikes children in general, thought was pretty darn cute:

Today was a little jaunt to Harrod's, which was surprisingly not nearly as crowded as when Jon and I went 2 years ago, despite it being sale time. The sale rather ruined it actually, since the big red cardboard signs removed the luxurious mystery of Harrod's. I swear, it's like a theme park, but the rich people are the only ones that can really enjoy themselves. I'd have pictures but someone else was yelled at for taking pictures in the fine jewelry section and I was already on the no-no list for having a backpack. At least they didn't kick us out for wearing jeans and looking like little scruffy vagabonds.

Lots of Old Stuff and One New Stuff

2008-06-28T16:11:00.016-06:00

One of my favorite things in London is the London Eye. Sure, it's expensive, doesn't have student prices and forces you into close proximity with people that you wish understood the meaning of 'personal space', but it's also relaxing and gives you lots of pretty views of London:

(Look! Parliament again!... Also, Westminster.)

St. Paul's in the distance:

Yesterday was the Tower of London, another favorite of mine. You can't take pictures of the Crown Jewels unfortunately, but they look practically fake anyway. Maybe they are...

ALV is scared of the Tower (or my picture-taking... whichever):

The British tell you that the Tower wasn't originally a prison, but I think the guys that had time to do this in their cell walls would disagree:

Okay, now this is, in fact, a bit scary. Bayonets on machine guns! Wtf?:

The Tower Bridge:

The White Tower looking imposing:

Today we went to Bath and Stonehenge, which was a bit on the lighter side. I wish we had gotten more time at both of them (particularly Bath), but it was only a day trip. There were delicious muffins involved at one point though...

The Roman bath with the Bath abbey in the background:

The "Sacred Spring":

Milsolm Street and the reason Brits hate tourists, most likely. (Next to me for this picture was a con artist playing Three-card Monte with some young teenager as her target. People, teach your kids what a confidence trick is!):

Stonehenge's burial mounds, with the Beeker people. I couldn't make that name up:

And we all know what this place looks like, right? Well, it's still pretty cool in person:

On the way back, our bus driver (who had repeatedly run lights and driven like a crazy person) got into a fender bender. Of course, being a bus, it was the other guy's fender. He freaked out on us, even though (shockingly, considering our driver's driving) it was actually his fault. It was kind of fantastically hilarious. Ah, I love this town.

As Promised

2008-06-25T17:32:00.009-06:00

So I'm still jetlagged, but I'm rather enjoying my first week here in London. Notre Dame's campus in London is about a 30 minute walk from where ALV and I are staying (at the University of London) and, because we're cheap and London so is not, we take the walk instead of the Tube. The best part of the walk is the last bit, where we have to go through Trafalgar Square. It's like being hit with a sledgehammer of "You're in LONDON, by the way!" and it's fabulous.
Lord Nelson, who is facing away actually:

The National Gallery on the other side, which is full of paintings of the Virgin and Child, to the point that they bleed together. I preferred the Impressionists section - hooray for Renoir, Degas, Van Gogh and Seurat:

And St. Martin in the Fields to one side:

I might have to suck it up and pay a massive fee to go to a concert at St. Martin's, otherwise my orchestra teacher from high school might hunt me down and kill me for not doing so. We'll see. Right now, I'm more excited by the prospect of listening to foul-mouthed puppets in Avenue Q.

We took a bus tour on Sunday, during which I took a lot of pictures that included the tops of people's heads. Today, we went to the London Aquarium between class and a "strawberry and cream" reception (which is apparently some Wimbledon thing - obviously, I know nothing about tennis or its traditions). The aquarium is *gasp* overpriced, but also close to the London Eye and, across the way, my total obsession, Parliament and Big Ben. I did you the favor of not posting the 20 photos I have of Big Ben (and yes, I'm aware that that's the name of the actual bell, not the tower... blah blah blah, hush you).
Let's ignore the fact that I have a better picture of the Eye from a previous trip:

From when I was - in ALV's words - "all up in Big Ben's grill":

A terrible photo of me, but the only one I have so far - and THIS is why:

On Saturday, we're taking a trip to Bath and Stonehenge. And just to prove that I'm a total American tourist, when they called it a "coach trip", I had to think for several minutes before realizing that this didn't involve a team of horses and a carriage.

Check check check

2008-06-21T15:34:00.003-06:00

I have successfully arrived in London, which is a huge relief. I'd forgotten how daunting it could be to travel alone and I've never been this far alone before. But everything was pretty much as I remembered, making it a lot easier. My room is the typical college dorm room at University of London and the law program is sharing the hall with people that are clearly younger and louder. When I signed in there weren't a lot of people here yet, but I expect to see more of them in the morning. Today wasn't going to be very social anyway - a baby on the plane kept everyone who didn't have earplugs awake and so I took a "nap" that lasted pretty much all afternoon. And soon, I'm going back to bed in an effort to get set on London time.

While I was on the Underground from the airport, I did see a bunch of people playing cricket in one of the fields (since, despite the name, the Underground isn't always under the ground, especially in the suburbs). It's the first time I've seen anyone actually playing when they weren't in a BBC miniseries about the 1920s.

I hope this will be the first and last London post without pictures. Tomorrow, I'll be a sane person with the right amount of sleep again. :)

Update on Nothing

2008-06-12T13:57:00.003-06:00

Alright, so I haven't been exactly prolific with the blogging lately. But I haven't been doing anything that's very interesting - I got my hard drive replaced and then a few days ago, my OS got corrupted. I've been reading a lot, running errands and doing laundry. The computer problems are the excitement in my life these days. Oh, and I'm moving this weekend to... another apartment in the same complex, which means I'm basically picking my stuff up and scooting it 50 yards to the south. Don't ask. Long story.

I will be posting quite often once I get to London though - I've promised several people lots of pictures and detailed goings-on. It's 57 degrees there right now. My heat-addled brain might not be able to take it!

I Kick Butt WIth Dry Bones and the Bullet Bike

2008-05-20T13:59:00.003-06:00

Fear not, gentle readers... and even those with just a passing interest - I am alive. My computer's hard drive, however, is not. It failed almost two weeks ago, unfortunately, as the (I hope) last of a wave of Mac hard drive failures BLS students have been experiencing. My time online has been since drastically cut down, since I'm sharing Jon's computer - something that can be quite difficult when said husband is a computer geek who relinquishes control of his desktop with more reluctance than the sorority girl who lives upstairs would have parting with her self-tanner.*

But tomorrow, I get my laptop back with a brand new hard drive and a big lesson learned - namely, back up your files like a maniac when your computer starts doing weird stuff like making the noise of a car blinker. On the plus side, the down time gave me the opportunity to unlock almost everything on Mario Kart Wii (damn you, Rainbow Road on Mirror level - you thwart me at every turn!).

Yeah... I haven't been doing much. But I'm looking at the calendar and realizing that in exactly a month, I'll be jetting off to London for 5 1/2 weeks of international law courses. Clearly, the second half of summer will generate more posts.

*"It's Fake and Bake and I helped!" Seriously people - we're not meant to be orange.

Pure Boasting

2008-04-30T16:30:00.003-06:00

*does a little happy dance*

I'm a 3L, people. It's rather unreal. And to add the cherry on top of a delicious sundae of happiness, I'm convinced enough that I passed all of my exams that I can say "I'm a 3L!" without qualifying it with terms such as "maybe".

Sure, I'm exhausted from the distinct lack of sleep I'm currently suffering. And yes, if you've spoken to me in the past week, it's likely I made some rather *odd* remarks that had nothing to do with anything ever. But is it worth it? Yup!

I'm going to go collapse and sleep for like 12 hours now.

He Gets Better Health Care Than Me Too

2008-04-23T21:42:00.004-06:00

My dog is spoiled rotten. But I didn't think I was one of THOSE dog owners (you know the ones I mean) because I do try to treat Charlie as a dog and not a child. Until today, when I ambled over to the newly opened Dogtopia doggie daycare here in Waco. We thought we would treat him to an occasional visit there to get him better socialized, since we won't be getting another dog for some time yet. The women that run the center spoke to me for some time about what Charlie would do there and their other services, which include the normal boarding and grooming, etc. And then they mentioned that they offer dog massages.

Massages. For dogs.

That's when I knew I was indeed one of those dog owners. Charlie came out of the evaluation - a short play date with the other dogs - with such a joy in his little quadruped step that I knew I would plunk down my credit card for pretty much anything he wanted. He's got us trained perfectly. Pretty good work for a dog that was on the streets and starving a year ago.

I do have a limit though - he doesn't get a spa day until I do.

Telf... Gennis... Tenif?

2008-04-18T23:44:00.002-06:00

Every evening, Charlie and I go for a walk on the undergrad campus, with Jon if he's not working/in class. I've missed a couple nights this week because I've been sick, so I had been missing the cool, breezy spring weather until today. And guess what I found upon my return? The golf-tennis boys are back on the undergrad campus with their little liabilities flying through the air.

I don't know what athletic genius came up with this, but I can't avoid these fools. They walk around the campus with their golf clubs and hit the tennis balls to... I don't know where. The little I know about golf seems to indicate that there has to be a hole in the ground somewhere, but I highly doubt Baylor's administration is letting these pests with their flipped up collars dig holes into their lawns. But they do seem to adhere to the rule of playing where the ball lies. It can be in a flower bed, on the street, on a sidewalk or in the midst of the quad and they're there, waiting all of 2 seconds before I pass by before smacking the tennis ball into the trees behind me. Happy Bunny, as usual, sums up what I want to tell these boys to do with their tennis balls as I duck:

Look, I know the basic laws of physics - a golf ball will fly farther and harder and hit more forcefully than a tennis ball. But that doesn't mean I appreciate playing the part of William Tell's extremely hesitant kid. They clearly have golf clubs. Judging from their designer clothes, they have the spare cash to go to an actual golf course. I've come to one conclusion about why they insist upon playing where numerous people are in their way - they're lazy jerks.

... And I'm officially old and cranky. *sigh*

The Old Man and the Martini

2008-04-07T23:49:00.002-06:00

When Italians start taking pity on Americans and their money troubles, it's not such a good sign. Maybe when I go to London, I should bring a little wooden bowl for alms. Hey, it might work.

Although, one thing - 200 euros (roughly US$300) to eat at a place where Hemingway once got drunk and emo? Look, you're in Rome! Go outside, pick a direction and walk towards a big crumbly stone structure. Congratulations! You're standing where dozens of crazy/cool/REALLY crazy yet cool Roman emperors once stood! For free! Or have a sandwich for a few bucks, if you insist! Huzzah!

Trust Me

2008-04-01T00:48:00.003-06:00

1. Go to YouTube.
2. Click on any of the Featured Videos on the home page.
3. Enjoy!

Edit on 4/2: Obviously the above was for just yesterday. Here's the video that you could have seen, if you wanted. It went from 63,000 hits when Jon found it at 12:15 am on 4/1 to (last count) over 9 million. :D

WTF mate?

2008-03-24T19:41:00.002-06:00

I think the current 3Qs are suffering from a lack of terror in their lives. Prof Civ Pro was sick and didn't scare them to the point of frozen horror in their first quarter. Then Prof LARC left and I hear they get to go through LARC pass/fail. The gravy train doesn't go on forever, people.

My point is, this might explain one of the conclusions my moot court partner found while paging through the 1L briefs - it said simply, "Ice cream."

I Heart Bob the Dinosaur

2008-03-23T20:05:00.003-06:00

All the World's a Stage Unfortunately

2008-03-21T14:57:00.002-06:00

Last time I mentioned the China-Tibet tensions, I was indecisive - we were giving an award to the Dalai Lama when we desperately need the friendship of China.

But all bets are off. Tiananmen Square apparently meant nothing to the Chinese government - I'm not sure how you can laugh off worldwide condemnation that even I remember, though I was only 5, but apparently they want to try. It's an anti-jihad, really, if you think about it - the Chinese are persistent in stamping out religious freedom. And nothing says "shady" like barring the media from entering the country that you're trying to "stabilize".

It's a shame really - 50 years ago Jon's family (both sides) fled from China because the Communists were quite literally destroying their lives and livelihoods. I won't repeat family history but the things that the government did were so barbaric that the Mongols were the cute, floppy-eared bunny predecessors. And apparently, it hasn't changed in the least. But the rest of the world has and now we can watch every instance of violence in horror and shame that humans are capable of such things.

China's world debut at the Beijing Games this year could have been a monument to change and progress. It's sad that once again, China's image will be marred by Tibet and its failure of diplomacy and peace, when one side wants it so desperately.

Echo Echo

2008-03-18T19:34:00.001-06:00

Instead of ranting about airline prices ($1200 to go to London - good Lord above), I've decided to give you part 2 of Echo's story which I mentioned awhile ago. I finally saw it and decided to share. Happy puppies make people happy.

(Insert NASA Joke Here)

2008-03-08T21:00:00.003-06:00

So I've recovered from a whirlwind 24 hours in Houston. When I got up at 6 am yesterday, I felt as if I were getting a head start on my break. Not so much, unfortunately. A job fair is tiring work - far more so than expected anyway. Charlie had to come with us and let me say that if I ever move to NYC, I'm going to have to live directly next to some sort of patch of grass. Walking even 2 blocks when the dog needs to go out at midnight would get very tiring very quickly - for me, not Charlie. He was quite the little metropolitan puppy and gladly trotted around the streets of Houston with us.

The hotel we stayed at was far fancier than expected. It was a little preview of returning to London - tiny but beautiful room and an expensive restaurant where we got stared at for not ordering wine. The only difference was that we didn't have to ask for water and there was ice in it. Best dinner I've had in a long time though.

Then on the way back, we somehow missed the Rt. 6 turn and ended up on Rt. 36/77. Talk about a difference from the opulence that we had just experienced...

2008 Oscars

2008-02-24T23:09:00.007-06:00

How much do I love the Oscars? A lot, even if I did miss "The Gary Busey Incident". I might be happy about that because from the rough descriptions I have read so far, it was painful and I was the child that changed the channel when Lassie was in trouble - I don't DO painful, even if it's harmless in the end.

Anyway, Jon Stewart was cute, although clearly the writers did not have enough time to polish a few of those jokes before setting it out there. Tilda Swinton finally got recognized, which was fabulous because I love her (and hate her dress - more on that later). Johnny Depp still lacks an Oscar, which makes me sad, but it was expected. But how amused was I that the ex-stripper won Best Original Screenplay? I haven't seen No Country For Old Men though, so a lot of it was lost on me. Ah well.

But let's get to the important part - the clothes!

People.com is so forgiving and they've named 21 women as the best dressed. I have a few issues with some of the choices. Forgive me if I sound like I'm channeling the girls over at Go Fug Yourself - I might be.

1. Cameron Diaz - Are you kidding? She had a pillow on her butt in an unflattering color, which you barely noticed because her skin looked like she had just gone on a 45 minute jog through the Sahara in midday.
2. Jennifer Garner - She looked like she was suctioned into that black dress, which was clearly meant for a flatter chested girl... perhaps someone like Rachel Zoe, who Garner gushed had picked it out for her. Zoe! Stop creating Mini-Me's! I don't care for Jennifer Garner, but her breasts deserved more respect than that.
3. Miley Cyrus - I have no real beef with the dress, although it's boring... but WHY are you even AT THE OSCARS?
4. Mrs. Daniel Day Lewis - I don't know her real name, but at least she didn't show up on the Best Dressed list. Of anyone. Anywhere. She was a mix between that horrible costume jewelry you find in your grandma's closet that her mother bought during the Depression and a Christmas ornament. I wish I were kidding. It's no dead swan or spangled Cher creation though, I have to admit.
5. Tilda Swinton - She also wasn't on the People.com list. Like I said, love her and hate the dre-... um, sack-like black thing. I wish she would go all Annie Hall on us and wear a suit - go where Diane Keaton has gone so many times before. Not backwards though.

Kudos go to Penelope Cruz, Keri Russell, Laura Linney and the perfect Heidi Klum for pulling it off without making me want to poke out my eyes with a spork.

But the best dressed for the evening definitely goes to Helen Mirren, which is completely unfair. I pray to age as well as her. Hello, she's a senior freaking citizen and she's wiping the floor with her 20-something competition. Congrats, Helen. I kind of love and hate you at the same time. But mostly, I love the dress.

Ironically Iconically

2008-02-19T18:19:00.004-06:00

Okay, why did all the photographers wake up one day and decide that there were no more original ideas in the whole wide universe?

First, Lindsay Lohan decides to strip down in a random, thinly-veiled attention-whoring photo shoot, copying the iconic Marilyn Monroe images from 40+ years ago. To illustrate how much Marilyn Monroe means to Lindsay, her mother said, "For Christmas, my girlfriends even gave her a Marilyn cookie jar. I think there's a sadness that Lindsay feels for Marilyn." Lindsay has repeated this second sentiment with vague references to Heath Ledger. I weep from your sincerity, ladies.

(Side note - the first time I saw this, I didn't even recognize her. I'm still not sure if this is a good or bad thing.)

Second, Jessica Alba is photographed in a number of movie scenes including Psycho, Rosemary's Baby, The Birds and... Scream, for some incongruous reason. Cardboard aspires to be as flat and uninspired as she is in these pictures. Apparently, Jessica decided that bad acting shouldn't just destroy her own movies, but other ones as well.

And perhaps that's my problem with this disturbing practice. Remakes are hardly ever as good as the original and they're often downright horrific. But if you simply MUST remake something that has risen to iconic status, be worthy of it. Don't put on a bad wig and talk about the honor it is to recreate something that was perfectly fine the first time around. Because if you have to do that, I can assure you that you are not worthy at all.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T14:04:00.001-06:00

Oliver

2008-02-11T22:41:00.001-06:00

I often post here about effective (or uneffective) ad campaigns. T-Mobile, Mastercard and Jack in the Box are frequent winners in my book, while those Alltell commercials are getting really tedious and I want to smack that smiley face from Wal-mart.

I'm watching the Westminster Dog Show (because I'm a dork who squeals over puppies and laments over poodles winning every freaking year) and the dog-related industries pull out all the stops. It's their Superbowl, after all. And Pedigree has to gain a gold star for the perfect mix of wanting to make me cry and endearing themselves to me, even though I think they sell crap food. I won't subject you to the first part of the Oliver story, which was run last year. It's heartbreaking. So I'm giving you the happy second part, which still makes me a bit teary. This year the abandoned dog is Echo. They haven't shown the second part for his story yet and I'm still weepy every time I see the first bit. Darn you, Pedigree, for having evil geniuses as ad men.

Make Me An Oxymoron

2008-02-07T00:13:00.000-06:00

I took a short break from studying for Con Law tonight to eat dinner and watch Project Runway, which has become my new favorite show in the absence of writers and good scripted television. While celebrating the departure of one of my least favorite designers and folding some laundry, Make Me A Supermodel came on. I don't watch this show because I really detest any contest where the viewers vote - I think the past season of American Idol proves that this is just not a good idea. The public, as a whole, is not the best bunch when it comes to picking actual talent.

Anyway, it starts off with a recap of last week when the aspiring models apparently stripped down to their skivvies and rolled around in a bed with each other trying to look fierce and sexy. This week's episode went a step farther - nude modeling for an art class. Their reactions to this challenge were something akin to a meteor hurtling towards their very heads. "NAKED? I've never BEEN naked before in front of people! Ahhh! For the love of all that is holy and good, I am freaking out!"

What am I missing here? Has Maxim replaced Degas in respectability? Was I warped by a childhood with an artist mother? Should we be framing lingerie ads with models licking each other on our walls (you know, when we're not 13 year old boys)?

Ah well, I guess I can't define art... but I'll know it when I see it.

You Know You're In Law School When...

2008-01-27T12:40:00.000-06:00

I had a dream where I was hanging out with friends, laughing and talking and generally having a good time. Then I looked at the clock and it was 7 pm and I began to freak out, because I realized I hadn't done any outlining that day. I was so upset that I woke up, still shaking.

This can't be a good sign.

Pet Peeve

2008-01-19T21:12:00.000-06:00

I try not to delve into my pet peeves here, mostly because it results in incoherent babbling and much gnashing of the teeth, which doesn't translate well to a blog. But I will outline one that has been irritating more than usual lately - I hate, hate, HATE it when people engage in armchair psychology. Case in point - Britney Spears's camp telling everyone and their dog that the chick who is the running for "Worst Mother Ever" is schizophrenic, bipolar or (my favorite) - has multiple personalities!

Let's be honest - even if she did have one of these rare (and on one count, probably fictional) diseases, anyone associated with Britney doesn't have enough brain power to open a jar of pickles, much less diagnose psychological problems. No one except a PhD does - a PhD that has actually talked to the wreck-without-underwear.

This is just a thought, but perhaps she should stop snorting things into her nose. Psychotic or not, that can't be helping her any. Just an amateur opinion, free of charge. Two can play at that game!

*Gnashes teeth*

Late Christmas!

2008-01-15T17:46:00.000-06:00

I'm going to brag a bit here. Being in law school, many of my more materialistic desires are postponed (as is the hope that I will ever have confidence in my own intelligence again). But occasionally, the stars align and I have both excess Christmas money and a husband who has a discount at his job.

You see, for the past 5 years I've been living with this little tinker toy that my father dug out of a closet for me:

Enough was enough. So we got this:

Now you see the fireplace. Now you don't. *insert gleeful laugh* Ahem... No really, it's amazing what a bit of indulgence can do for one's spirit, especially in the midst of post-holiday, pre-finals blues. Not that this is healthy for my grades or my bank account to do all the time, but every once in awhile is fabulous.

Half Way There

2008-01-08T13:00:00.000-06:00

So as I begin my 2008 blogging, I realize that I am officially on the downward slope. I have less law school ahead of me than I have behind me and it's rather shocking that a) I've survived and b) so has Jon. I guess this sort of thing is more easily celebrated when your law school has semesters and not quarters that bridge over Christmas break, but I still consider it an achievement.

Well, it would be an achievement if I had actually done something over break. Last year, I came back from Christmas, having done nothing, and freaked out that exams were shortly following. I swore not to do it again... and so, of course, I did. It's difficult for me to learn the most basic of lessons, apparently.

I hope that the second half of this quarter will go well. I hope that the second half of law school will too. I even dare to hope that it will be better than the first half. I hope that the past year and a half hasn't been simply a sinkhole for my money, time and sanity, and that I will not become the law school equivalent of Charlie Brown. What can I say? I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Cuteness Overload

2007-12-18T11:19:00.000-06:00

The San Diego Zoo's newest panda cub has finally emerged from her den. I watched Zhen Zhen as she rolled around the yard looking adorable for quite awhile this morning, despite the fact that whoever is controlling the PandaCam is hopped up on what seems to be a dangerous combination of caffeine, crack and a bad cinematography class in college.

Counting Isn't So Hard, Is It?

2007-12-15T00:46:00.000-06:00

To add to the chorus that's talking about law prom... well, I'll sort of add to it. I drank and ate and actually made a bit of money at Texas Hold 'Em without surrendering to my massive competitive streak and losing my temper. Also, I talked to people who I don't always get to talk to and had a hot date that sat by me as I bored her with the rules of poker.

But alas, there was a taint to the evening (and I'm not talking about T&E grades) - we went to the massively crowded Texas Roadhouse before the party. I was the first to arrive and promptly signed the 6 of us up for the hour-long waiting list. The others arrived and we chatted for said hour. Said hour goes by and the crowd is thinning. People are going past us (in groups that are just as large or larger) that came in after us. We send one of the boys to check on the wait time.

Answer - "Um, I don't know. Let me check."

Cue the riffling through pages and pages of names, standing around looking confused and, let us not forget, the dismissal of unhappy customers in order to joke around and laugh behind the counter instead. Finally they tell us that we could be seated separately in 2 adjoining booths. Because, you know, it's become so difficult to push 2 tables together these days.

Whatever. We're cranky and our blood sugar is low. We'll take what we can get. But 10 minutes later, when they STILL haven't seated us, I'm shaking and about to let loose a tirade. They must have felt the evil, angry gale approach because they finally called us as I came up to the counter.

We ask if we could possibly get just one table (because it never hurts to ask, right? WRONG.) Now we're surrounded by the entire cadre of managers, asking us in a rather condescending tone if there's a problem.

After explaining EXACTLY what they've done to us (and receiving nothing but a "Well, it's an hour wait for a single table for 6", despite the fact that that was what we HAD BEEN WAITING FOR), we sit down to 2 booths anyway. Luckily for them, they placed bread right in front of us so that we could sate the savage beast of starvation that was gnawing at us.

On the plus side, our waitress was terrified of us and made sure we had everything we ever wanted, short of a winning lottery ticket. (No, we did not take out the hostesses' idiocy/managers' rudeness on her. It was just nice to get actual service.)

On the con side, I don't know if I can go there again, which whittles the number of decent restaurants in this town down to about 3. *Sigh*

But the rest of the evening was lovely. Gracias, SBA.

MP3 ESP

2007-12-12T16:06:00.000-06:00

So Ike Turner croaked, which is weird because the JUST other day my iTunes decided to play Tina Turner's "I Can't Stand the Rain" from the fantastic Private Dancer album and I thought, "Wow, she's really talented. Ike kind of deserves to go to hell for what he did to her."

And now he has.

Oh, calm down. I'm just kidding (maybe). But you can surely tell how concerned I am about the effect his exit from the world will have. I have to say though, that I love that People.com notes Ike and Tina's relationship as "tempestuous", when I would have said something like, "He beat the crap out of her constantly." I know you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead but a) even my description is mild, b) "not speaking ill" doesn't mean lying and c) the whole point of that rule is because the dead can't defend themselves, and like Ike would have given a hoot what I think or say.

Anyway, I feel for his family, but that's about as far as my sympathy goes.

Free the Rice!... Oh, Free Rice

2007-12-07T11:39:00.000-06:00

FreeRice is surprisingly fun, and apparently does in fact send free rice to countries that are so desperate for food. It donates no matter what level you're on, but you can always improve your vocabulary,right? I got up to level 42, but I usually hover around 39. I know some of you out there are smarter than me - so prove it!

Shopping Becomes Depressing

2007-12-05T19:52:00.000-06:00

Even if you don't know me very well, you still probably know that I'm not the biggest fan of children. I have 3 younger cousins (no siblings) but we were all born within a few years of each other and so I had none of that "here, watch your cousin for the evening while I talk to your uncle for 4 hours" experience. (My mother did - she mutters that there wasn't a family gathering that she didn't get spit up on at least once. She wanted to start wearing a tarp but my grandmother wouldn't allow it.) I also worked in retail, which is as close to an effective abstinence education program as we have in this nation. Watching your children is not the fitting room attendant's job, people. (That said, I have great respect for parents who actually teach their children to be well-behaved and quiet - I guess I'm kind of old school with the "seen and not heard" bit, which has been lost on many parents these days.)

But even if they were raving little terrors (they're not), there are 4 children I love unconditionally and will even let them put their sticky fingers on my nice clothing - Caitlin, Matthew, Jessica and Olivia. They're my nieces and nephew and they're wonderful. I love being "Aunt Sarah". I know, it surprises me too.

But - getting to my point, finally - I also have to get them Christmas gifts and I'm starting to worry. As I wander through the children's section of the bookstore, dodging perilous sticky fingers and snotty noses all the way, I have to wonder where all the decent authors went. Is there some 15 year long luau in the South Pacific that I missed? Surely - surely! - we can do better than "Do Unto Otters: A Book About Manners", which was chosen as Amazon's best picture book for 2007! Or "Psst!", which aside from its questionable name has drawings that look like they came straight out of MAD magazine. I am completely freaked out.

Perhaps my mother and all of my family and family friends were just fortuitous or educated shoppers in my youth, but I had huge amounts of fantastic picture books. Usually they had gorgeous artwork and if they didn't, they always had a great story. And while I'm aware that some of them - "Goodnight Moon" and "Where the Wild Things Are", for example - are much older than I am and were culled from the sea of mediocrity, I would have thought some talent remained. But it seems that the greats of my youth are fading away, either into retirement or into tedium. 1986's "The Stranger" was the last good book that Chris Van Allsburg did, for example. It was so fantastic, maybe he just didn't have any more left in him.

*Sigh* Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Perhaps I should just lower myself to get Dora the Explorer books and even venture into movies and toys - although Lord knows they don't need any more of that. Perhaps I'm still not over the questionable quality of the 7th Harry Potter book. I don't know. I do know that I'm glad that my parents kept my old picture books and that I've already given copies of all those classics to my nieces and nephew - it's old genius, but it still works for now.

Avert Your Eyes

2007-11-29T10:49:00.000-06:00

I awoke this morning and did my usual routine while listening to the painters outside spray-painting the side of my building. They've been at this for a couple weeks and frankly, I'm quite sick of them. I know I'm being unfair, but when I'm going to my dryer to get a clean t-shirt after my shower, I don't like to turn around and see the painters looking at me over my 7 foot tall privacy fence. Did I mention it was right after my shower? It was like I had stepped into a Ben Stiller movie and that's not a very fun place to be.

Anyway, they're painting what was normal, neutral-colored brick with this weird tri-color scheme in an attempt (I'm guessing) to look fresh and "with it". Most of the buildings have a cream top, a white stripe in the middle and green bottom. And yet I walked outside this morning to find my own building's walls a delightful shade of vomit.

VOMIT. Seriously, it looks like what my dog regularly throws up when he's eaten too many bits of disgusting trash off of the sidewalk. I'm hoping that this is just the base coat, but it cannot be gone soon enough. (Although even as I type this, they're hovering outside my window, painting more vomit on the walls. I'm dressed this time though.)

I know they're trying to update the place with the new owners and all, but it's like my apartment complex is having a mid-life crisis. And I'm the kid, embarrassed at the things that it's doing to itself in order to look cool and young again. Couldn't it just have bought a red sports car and gotten a 19 year old secretary to prance around in a miniskirt and do other, non-family-oriented things?

Escapism

2007-11-26T09:46:00.000-06:00

Ah, the days after Thanksgiving - when everyone pretends they didn't know Christmas was coming for the last 11 months and they freak out, flocking to the malls. Mass consumerism is the essence of this time of year. That and something about the birth of some child or other?

But most importantly, holiday movies. It's hard to wade through the dreck that comes out each year, so I'll tell you what this humble blogger wants to see (i.e. what I believe will be worth the time).

1. The Golden Compass

I've wanted to see this movie since before I knew there was a movie being made. The Golden Compass is the first of a trilogy of books by Phillip Pullman and, precious few novels aside, is one of the most deeply complex and compelling books I've ever read along with its sequels. Seriously. If you haven't read the trilogy (dubbed altogether as the "His Dark Materials" trilogy), you are missing out on genius. It's like Harry Potter, only more engrossing, better written and has a touch of reality that you can feel, despite witches and talking bears and souls that live outside the body. It's more like the Chronicles of Narnia than anything else, now that I think about it. It's so fantastic that I won't ruin any of it for you.

Anyway, the point is that if they mess this movie up, I will literally cry. And I don't cry.

2. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Not one for the kids, folks, if the title hadn't already tipped you off. Yes, it's a musical (it might be worth the price just to see Johnny Depp singing), but when did that stop Sweet Charity from being depressing as hell? Or Les Miserables? Or lots of others that I can't think of at the moment? Well, take all that depressing stuff from those musicals altogether and go about twenty yards farther and then down into a big black hole of murder and despair. Most full-blown operas don't have this much death and destruction.

But it has Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman (as the bad guy... err, the badder bad guy) and it's directed by Tim Burton. And it's about a demon barber with an old-time straight edge razor. What more could you ask for at Christmas?

3. I Am Legend

Unlike the above two movies, I don't know more than what they've told me in trailers about this one. But apparently there are zombies. And not the zombies that turn what was a horror flick into pure gore (surely you can see the difference?) but more like Shaun of the Dead zombies - tasteful. (Perhaps that's the wrong word...)

Also, Will Smith is in it and I'm just not tired of his one character - the charming, grimly funny hero - yet. I'm not tired of Harrison Ford's rugged smart-ass character either, so this shouldn't be surprising.

Three movies is actually quite low for my typical holiday movie season. It seems the writers' strike is working retroactively (Alien v. Predator: Requiem??? Are you kidding me?) but I can struggle through. For now the time being though, it's back to the grind.

Sleep and Stuffing

2007-11-19T17:12:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is usually such a trying time for me. Usually, family descends upon Dallas 9 times out of 10, making my mother a nervous wreck while I get increasingly lackadaisical. ("Who cares that the curtain aren't clean, Mom? She's your mother - she knows what a terrible housekeeper you are... Why are you looking at me like that? What do you MEAN I have to vacuum the entire house???") But this year, not even my in-laws will be in town, which is fan-dabby-tabulous in my opinion. Not that I don't love them... I just don't like being around them when there's food involved. It's like I'm being fattened up to go to slaughter. Truly. But I suppose that's what I get for marrying into a restaurant family.

Usually, I'm fretting about shopping for eleventy billion people in the space of 3 weeks (I need to ship things to my far-flung relatives). But as of last year, I decided that the best gift is a gift that goes away and doesn't clutter up the shelves, i.e. food. There are a lot of great catalogs full of stuff that my aunts will call me up to complain about because they were just SO good but SO bad for them. This is a sign of success, my friends.

And usually, I'm gearing up for exams. Except I'm on the quarter system now and this time I'm not even fretting too much about my last round of tests.

All in all, it's going to be a good holiday for me. I hope it is for you too.

Oh, I do know one thing I'm going to get:

A new puppy bed.

Grizzly Bear? Brown Bear? AK-47 Bear?

2007-11-12T19:23:00.001-06:00

Cash Advance Loans

Prof. Osler has linked us to a site which tests the readability of a blog. This blog scored a decent "high school" level. I thought it amusing considering that today in our first Con Law class (in which I sit front row, section I'm-Going-to-Get-Picked-On-A-Lot-Aren't-I?), I could not stop giggling for about 5 solid minutes.

Really, was I the only one in a class of some 100-odd people that had that bit from Family Guy running through their heads about the 2nd Amendment? -

"Do you think the language in the Second Amendment is clear enough? You know, about the right to bear arms?"
"Of course it's clear. Every American has the right to hang a pair of bear arms on their wall. How can that possibly be misconstrued?"

... Well, I thought it was funny. I'm going to go run it through again to see if this post lowered me down to "Pre-K" level.

Como Se Dice, "Important Fact"?

2007-11-07T23:50:00.000-06:00

My mother called me today, just as I was fighting the urge to put down my Negotiable Instruments outline and pick up my Wii controller. She was coming back from the court house and jury duty. She had called to complain to me about how boring the process was and how much she disliked the lawyers for both sides. I asked (half-jokingly) if they were Baylor lawyers, and she said, "I don't know. But when they told us who the lawyers had picked, one of them stood up and started talking to the judge. I had to lean over and ask the woman next to me what the man was saying. She said that he was telling the judge that he couldn't understand much English. None of the lawyers had asked that. Don't you think that's an important thing to ask?"

So I'm guessing no, they weren't Baylor lawyers.

Exam Week Begins

2007-11-03T18:26:00.000-06:00

I always take a little bit to recover from an exam, especially one that lasts 4 hours and that has questions ranging from "Charlie could have taken this for me" to "I want my mommy". I know it's meant to keep us on our toes and it damn sure worked. On the whole though, I didn't leave the exam cursing at anyone, not even myself, so that's a success in my mind.

Still, exam week is tortuous and when you've plunged into it, it's hard to keep yourself going at full steam for that entire time (as evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this post instead of finishing my Negotiable Instruments outline). I find myself thinking about what I plan to do when I'm done, which gives me hope but also threatens to distract me entirely. And there's always the dreaded pit of despair when you just stop caring.

All this is very hard to explain to non-law school people. They often think of law school exams as akin to what they remember from undergrad. I remember undergrad too and except for classes like Neuro-psychology (which was also available to bio majors, which all slept during class as the psych majors like me sweated over which each neurotransmitter did and why and how and what dopamine's favorite color was and why it was in a fight with serotonin over the affections of acetylcholine and was glycine the love child of epinephrine??? Answers next week on "As the Brain Turns"), it was all otherwise as easy as pie.

On the other hand, other law school people should know exactly how horrible this week is, and - this is where I'm going to get preachy - should stay quiet in the freaking hallways and not shout about how you want candy and how you ALWAYS forget your ethernet cord when there is obviously an open door in front of you with 60 people taking an exam! We saw you look at us. Why did you keep talking, girl-who-shall-remain-nameless-BUT-I-KNOW-WHO-YOU-ARE???

That wasn't the intended point of this post, but there it is. See, GWSRNBIKWYA? You didn't just distract me from my exam, you distracted me from my entire point!

... Oh yes. Pace yourself. And stay calm. And remember that it'll all be over soon. *Deep breath*

Strawberries and David Bowie References

2007-10-31T13:38:00.000-06:00

I had such a horrible night last night. I had a headache, my outlines were going as well as Larry Craig's appeals and Jon called in the middle of "House" to tell me that his class ended early, forcing me to miss the second half of the one hour of the day I had to myself and my own enjoyment. I was not pleased. But I feel slightly better about today for a few reasons:

1) Charlie was a strawberry for Halloween and specifically, my apartment complex's pet costume contest. He lost, but whatever. I half-heartedly aimed to win by going to Petsmart and buying a costume yesterday. He whole-heartedly wanted to sniff all the other dogs' private areas. One of us got our wish and that's enough for me.

2) A new Zero Punctuation review (see my post below).

3) "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust!" comes out tonight at midnight. You can either get it free or pay $5, here. I'm not going to lie - it's not my cup of tea. It's kind of dance/hip-hop/rap. Few genres can get so far from my own musical tastes, although it's interesting and worth a listen, and I must admit it's growing on me.

"So why are you promoting it on your limited-audience but irritatingly vocal blog, Yee?" Because it's produced by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. But contrary to what some of you might be thinking, that fact in and of itself is not enough for me to endorse music that I don't care for. Trent Reznor got Marilyn Manson his first big break, but I'd never tell you to go out and buy "Antichrist Superstar". I know that a lot of NIN fans are also devout in their following of someone I think of as the second creepiest person alive (after Michael Jackson), but I'm not one of them.*

But I digress. The reason I am telling you to go and at least listen to "NiggyTardust" is because record labels are dying. File-sharing is not going to go away and the labels are doing all they can to encourage it by doing foolish things like charging $35 in Australia for a NIN CD.** Radiohead already has offered their latest CD for "whatever the consumer wants to pay for it", whether it be $1 or $40. "NiggyTardust" is doing the same thing and will probably get a lot more recognition when it's not suffering under the thumb of a label. This is only the beginning of the trend. The recording industry can't stop it. I don't think that's a bad thing. Using something as expansive as the internet for a marketing playground will churn out a lot of crap music. But how is that different from record labels these days? (Have you heard the Britney Spears album? Heaven help our ears.) But it'll also produce a lot of ingenuity that would never have been heard if it had been up to a record label. It's all about accessibility. I want to be open-minded enough. Do you?

*The exception being some of Manson's covers. They're pretty good if you feel there's not enough gothiness in some of your standard 80s hits.

**The more fool thing to do was to tell Reznor that they were doing that because his fans were willing to pay that. Telling a person like Reznor that you're basically screwing over his fans is like jumping on Danny Bonaduce's face without warning - you're going to end up in bad shape and people will just tell you that you only have yourself to blame.

I See Much Grumbling In Your Future

2007-10-27T13:32:00.000-06:00

ABC News is reporting that Stephen Colbert's faux-campaign to run for president might be illegal. The FEC is carefully watching Colbert's movements because of corporate sponsorship, especially because Comedy Central has "given a talk show to a favored candidate".

Um, what? I'm pretty sure Comedy Central gave a talk show to a popular sidekick from The Daily Show. Then, 2 years later, Colbert started a joke campaign. I must start working for Comedy Central - I definitely want the free and accurate tea leaf readings they must be giving out.

The former counsel for the FEC warns that Colbert's presence might significantly affect the election. And you know what I say to that? GOOD.

Oh my goodness, is anyone else sick to death of the 2008 elections? Was anyone else sick of them a freaking year ago when the candidates started lining up??? And they're all just cardboard cut-outs of each other, but they're trying desperately to prove that they aren't. Then they just end up looking like kids in a schoolyard, fighting about who has the better Tonka truck - when they're BOTH freaking Tonka trucks!

I would do a little dance if someone like Colbert stepped up to the plate. I think you might actually get some answers out of him that weren't pandering to the largest demographic possible. For me, it's gotten to be less about what is coming out of your politicking mouth and more about the honesty behind it. Because why bother voting for someone if they're going to turn around and do something completely different than what they promised when they get into office? I'll still grumble when you do things I don't like, but at least I can't grumble and feel cheated at the same time if you told the truth in the first place.

So if Colbert's faux-campaign is making a mockery of a process that basically feeds the American public the gristle off the underside of a barbeque grill and tells them it's prime rib, then fabulous. I think this joke of a election system needs a little jolt of honesty. I hope those plastered-on smiles of the candidates waver a bit as they realize a comedian with a late-night cable show has a more rabid following than they do. Maybe then they'll turn into real boys and girls!

Because I'm a Geek Too

2007-10-25T13:17:00.001-06:00

Purely for video gamers or people with a good sense of humor. Yes, he uses bad words. But he's Australian, so I forgive him.

This is one of the two videos on YouTube that you can actually find because this guy was brilliantly picked up by The Escapist - new game reviews are posted every week. This week's review was of Super Paper Mario and it's hilarious. Go check it out.

Indecisive

2007-10-17T19:27:00.000-06:00

Over the fierce protests of the Chinese government, the Dalai Lama was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal in Washington D.C. today.

I'm a bit torn by this. I respect Buddhism for its messages and the Dalai Lama in turn for conveying those messages so well over that past several decades. He has his controversial moments (don't we all?) but in the end, I think he displays what humanity is capable of - peace, unconditional love and acceptance.

On the other hand, I'm not so sure we should be ticking China off right now. We've done it before and we'll do it again, but the timing on this one just makes me raise an eyebrow. They've pulled out of talks about Iran over this and the president is surprisingly nonchalant about angering such a superpower. We sort of need as many friends as we can get at the moment. I'm no fan of the Chinese government and I don't think bowing down to them is the right thing to do. I just... well, I'm just not sure how I feel about this.

Perhaps I should take the Dalai Lama's view about China's reaction - "Oh, that always happens."

I Heart Stephen Colbert

2007-10-14T10:40:00.001-06:00

Because I know a lot of you won't click a link, here's the editorial from the New York Times in its entirety. I know who I'm voting for - at least it'll be a good time. ;)

A Mock Columnist, Amok
By MAUREEN DOWD
Published: October 14, 2007

I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.

He was sneering that Times columns make good “kindling.” He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, “it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.” He was observing, approvingly, that “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”

I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to “shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.”

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

By STEPHEN COLBERT

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.

Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.

While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where’s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)

Others point to my new bestseller, “I Am America (And So Can You!)” noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.

Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.” On the elderly: “They look like lizards.”

Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.

What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.

I Can't Believe I'm Rooting for Danny Bonaduce

2007-10-09T21:34:00.000-06:00

So today Jonny Fairplay* sued Danny Bonaduce for battery. I've seen the video footage of the awards show where this happened. If you haven't, let me summarize - blond Carrot-Top jumps on the face of the angriest man ever and surprise! gets thrown off and breaks his teeth.

Doesn't it take you back to the paper-clip-in-the-eye case from Torts I? I mean, if someone I knew said to me, "Hey, here's a funny bit I was thinking of doing - naughty, naughty things to Danny Bonaduce's torso/face region without his prior knowledge! Also, I'm thinking of doing it in front of an audience (and a nation) that hates me," I would slap them. That's battery. Having someone freak out because you decided to 'recapture' your audience while on that someone's face is not.

*Apparently, he was on Survivor and is a complete jackass. Thank you, Wikipedia. What would I do without you?

This is Going to be a Long(horn) Week

2007-10-01T15:07:00.000-06:00

Red River Shootout is this weekend. (I refuse to call it the pansy name they're trying to change it to that doesn't involve violence. I don't even know what the new name is, come to think of it. Red River Square Dance? Red River Shake-Hands-And-Pretend-We-Never-Historically-Shot-At-Each-Other?) Anyway, all the cool kids are going to watch. More importantly, all the cool kids are going to be rooting for UT.

Yeah, yeah. I'm engaging in some unapologetic favoritism. It's allowed every once in awhile. Go get your own blog if you disagree.

I have to admit I haven't been following the season very closely. I'm actually trying to be a decent student this quarter and devoting half of my life and money to UT is something I did for several years already, only back then it was my father's money. However, there's one thing we can all agree upon - when it comes to old rivals, even the least spirited feel their loyalties rise anew.

But please. One word of wisdom. Don't be a sore winner. Sore losers are annoying (I know, because I am one) but they have an excuse. Rubbing a win into someone else's face, however, is tacky and speaks only to your ill-breeding.

And for the sore losers - keep a lid on it. Appreciate good plays, whether or not they're made by your team. Realize that you're bringing down everyone by your crappy attitude. But you're allowed to walk away if a sore winner gets in your face - because we really want to avoid physical violence, don't we?

Let's hope I can follow my own rules. And until the game, feel free to root for whoever you wish. I'll only secretly hate you, as you're allowed to secretly hate me for my allegiances. :)

Keeping the Faith, For Now

2007-09-27T09:46:00.000-06:00

The initiative I talked about in this post, which removed religious books from prisons that were not on a pre-approved list, has been suspended. Apparently, conservatives and liberals alike called for a stop to this ridiculousness. I hope it sticks.

But it also makes me a bit happier because, for whatever their reasons, two opposite sides came together for something that is correct and good. So it can be done! Imagine that.

Savor the Moment... Before A Car Hits You

2007-09-25T11:01:00.001-06:00

I make no secret of the fact that I dislike Waco. I'm a city girl through and through and I miss real shopping, real restaurants and movie theaters built after 1985. Yes, I can get almost anything I need in Waco, but I miss a lot of my vapid, pointless wants, like any trip to Crate & Barrel turns out. (I don't NEED a compressed bamboo cutting board - but do I have one? Yes, yes I do.)

But there's one moment where I feel at home in Waco outside of the confines of law school. That moment? When I cross the street to go into my bank.

I bank at Bank of America and if you know Waco, you know that the one here is actually in an attractive building across the square (I call it "square" because it sounds better than "parking lot") from the sole beauty of Waco, the courthouse. It has a little brick walkway to lead people from the "square" to the bank itself. Sometimes cars stop for you and let you walk across the little two lane road. When I do cross, as I did today, I feel like I'm in one of those quaint little towns that has a population of 124 and where trees turn colors in the fall and there's a phone tree to tell you when school has a snow-day instead of having to listen to the morning news. Apparently, I have some tiny-town girl inside of my city girl facade. And so I enjoy my moments of walking into the bank and think that maybe I should move to some tiny little Pennsylvania or Vermont town and be one of two or three lawyers handling stuff like wills for the apple farmer down the street and representing the only "criminal" in town, the village drunk. And I want it to be called a "village", because that sounds nice.

Then I snap out of it and laugh a little to myself.

Dark, Seething Confusion

2007-09-21T21:57:00.000-06:00

While roving around iTunes, my giftcard ready in my hot little hand thanks to generous interviewers, I noticed something. Nickelback's "Rockstar" is one of the top music video, song and ringtone downloads right now. Irritation (and a bit of nostalgia, as anyone would have that's heard Prof CivPro's opinion on the topic) welled up within me. Not only is this song kind of old, as I remember hearing it months back, but I also remember thinking how much I HATED it. Ugh. I don't get it. Are they being ironic? Are they saying that they DON'T do all that Hollywood, hypocritial crap that they spew in the lyrics? Or are they saying they do and they're laughing in our stunned faces? Either way, it IRKS me to the extreme. Nickelback has cemented itself into a category previously inhabited only by Creed - Bands That Make Fear for the Future of the Human Race.

Hi, I'm the Freak That Wants YOUR Dog Safe

2007-09-18T17:16:00.000-06:00

I've had an emotional roller-coaster of a day. It began with me running into Tax at 8:01 this morning, 8 minutes after I woke up and while thinking, "Good Lord, this must be how Britney Spears feels EVERY DAY. Unwashed, unkempt and still with product in her hair from yesterday. Also, everyone staring at you."

Then came my brief explosion of irritation at the end of T&E, which had little to do with T&E and everything to do with insane and annoying people.* Have you ever noticed how insane and annoying people come in pairs though?

Let me back up to say that yesterday before class, I come out of my apartment and find a tiny little dachshund sniffing around my door. Charlie goes ballistic and wants to play with the little girl who is 1/3 of his weight. I decide to take her to the office, as there is NO tag and NO ONE calling for her, although I'm sure I've seen her around. The girl in the office says that she knows who the puppy belongs to. Cue the momentary sadness that I don't get to keep the sweet little girl, but also the happiness that I helped find someone's lost pet.

Back to today and when I step out to take Charlie to do "his puppy thing", as my mother calls it. The little dachshund is back! And she's found my upstairs neighbor, who I quickly barrage with the tale of yesterday. She points me to the apartment where she thinks she's seen the dog. I take the dachshund (who is now sniffing around the fence which does no good job of keeping her from the busy road) to the apartment. Some gormless little undergrad looks at the dog, looks at me like I'm a crazy person myself and then "remembers" it's his roomie's dog. Said roomie comes down the path moments later on crutches.

"Oh thanks," she says.

"I've found her sniffing around my apartment twice in two days," I answer.

"Yeah. Did you let her out?" she asks the gormless undergrad.

"No. I dunno."

She turns to me. "Yeah, I can't take her out on a leash because I'm on crutches."

"Right," I say. "Well, I was just worried. I mean, she was wandering alone, way over there."

"Oh, well. Okay, thanks." She takes the puppy and shuffles back inside, both her and the gormless undergrad giving me suspicious glances over the shoulder.

I don't know. Maybe I AM a freak for wanting the dachshund to live another day. But when I care about your dog more than you do, I can't help but be the freak. Even now, I'm looking outside the window every 5 seconds to see if the dachshund has returned. And yes, I WILL come back to your place and knock on the door, despite the crazy looks, if she does return. Maybe you'll get it after awhile. I'm not PETA. I'm not going to smear red paint on your fur coat. But at the risk of sounding like a mother, you got the dog and now it's your responsibility! Please, PLEASE, take it seriously. My heart just can't take it if you don't.

*Note that it's no one at BLS. Or anyone affiliated. Or anyone remotely familiar with BLS. Or, just to be clear, anyone at law firms that might be interviewing at BLS.

Because I Need To Laugh

2007-09-17T17:21:00.001-06:00

I heart Lewis Black. I once met him - he's not nearly this angry in real life. He humored me as I stuttered and as the girl next to me slurred drunkenly. (I take comfort in the fact that I was not as embarrassing as her.)

Anyway, if you haven't seen Lewis Black before, (a) you should and (b) be warned that he has a foul mouth and insults everyone. Believe it or not, this is one of the tamer segments I found and actually a bit that I saw him perform in Austin 2 years ago.

I think he's hilarious. I hope you do too and get a little laugh on a slow, sad Monday.

Keeping the Faith?

2007-09-10T16:16:00.000-06:00

I don't talk about religion much. Despite what my mother and my church attendance record might say however, I have deeply held beliefs that affect my life in many ways. It is an important facet of the lives of a large part of the world and I'm sure that includes many people in the highest positions of our government.

So why is the Federal Bureau of Prisons taking religion away from inmates?

I understand not allowing prisoners to get their own personal copies of the Anarchist's Cookbook, but to cut religious texts to a paltry 150 titles per religion? Does Robert H. Schuller's "Hours of Power" really represent a great threat to the federal prisons? Are they afraid the prisoners will rise as one and start belting out gospel music? Frankly, if I were a prisoner, I would rather do that than read one of the 9 C.S. Lewis titles that are permitted. Narnia is lyrically fabulous; "The Pilgrim's Regress" should be used instead of anesthesia.

But correct me if I'm wrong - religion tends to promote peace and tolerance as a rule. Any religious text that promotes ideas of violence and extremism, I would argue, it not religious text at all but propaganda. And we all know exactly what kind of text the Bureau REALLY thinks is dangerous. So be honest, Bureau of Prisons, and ban texts that incite violence and extremism. At least then you aren't impinging unnecessarily on the rights of those who want to read true Christian, Muslim, Jewish and other religious books. You're making the same mistake so many make these days - associating an entire religion(s) with the few psychos who want to use the said religion as a mask for their said psychosis.

Mostly Babble

2007-09-05T11:33:00.000-06:00

So I've been agonizing about what my first post of the new school year should be. I thought about writing about everything from the fact that the lack of Prof CivPro has made this year's 1Ls entirely too comfortable to the 'finally!' moment of Britney Spears getting investigated by CPS (again). In the end, I decided that I wasn't actually that picky, just uninspired to write anything. Now that it's the 2nd week of school, I just look lazy. So be it. Now your expectations are lowered to an acceptable level.

I really only have one bit of news anyway - that my husband has got a new job at Best Buy with the Geek Squad. (So fitting, that name.) This might not be entirely impressive to you, except for the fact that he's been delivering pizzas for the last 10 months, while his Computer Science degree hangs above my desk in all of its useless glory. In Waco, you see, computer people like Jon have 2 options - complete mediocrity, usually in a job that has nothing to do with their expertise (see: delivering pizzas) or they can pull out their PhD in astrophysics and go work at the aerospace engineering firm just outside of Waco. And Jon doesn't have a secret PhD in astrophysics. Unless he's hiding something, in which case I think a secret degree is probably the least of my worries. So in all, Jon is pleased with his job, which doesn't quite fit either of these usual 2 options.

But that's not my point. The point is that while applying to Best Buy online, Jon came across this question in the personality test, which I can only assume was created by a psychology major, because those are my people and I know their work:

"You get angry when the court system lets guilty people go free. Do you: Strongly Agree? Agree? Disagree? Strongly Disagree?"

There are so many problems with this question that my brain literally screeched to a halt for several minutes. The fact that it chafes against my growing bias towards the defense is the least of them. But I had to wonder - is this how people see the court system? My own childhood was full of detective and cop shows - I knew "innocent until proven guilty" before my ABCs and I'm not kidding. (My parents never thought I really comprehended what was going on in those mystery shows they watched every Tuesday night, but truthfully, this is probably where I formed my complete non-surprise at the perversions of human nature. Also, I was allowed to watch Purple Rain at age 4.)

But it was surprising, especially knowing that this questionnaire was probably edited a thousand times by a dozen people, who are presumably people with college degrees and 2 brain cells to rub together. I would have expected better. Or perhaps BLS has already warped me and I should have expected nothing.

Warning - Indelicate Words

2007-08-07T10:28:00.000-06:00

This morning the NY Times had an article about the possible banning of the word "bitch". If you hadn't heard, the NY city council has already banned the n-word earlier this year. I really wasn't paying attention that first time because I do find the n-word to be horrible. I wouldn't have banned it though. I know that some people claim that the stigma has been stripped from the n-word. Personally however, I'm not a fan and I think we all know that if I - a little Southern middle-class white girl - used that word, no one would be brushing off anything except for my blood from their clothes. And I like my nose unbroken, thank you. But "bitch"? Come on. The city council member who proposed this ban said that it is a "paradigm of shame and indignity for all women".

Let's pause for a minute and consider that.

Okay. Now all you women out there, raise your hands if you think "bitch" is "a paradigm blah blah blah". Hmm, I'm not seeing a lot of response. Now, raise your hands if you don't want this city council woman speaking for you just because you happen to both have a uterus.

Ah. I'm seeing a lot more response there.

I understand that people are sensitive to words. But whereas the n-word has historical degradation woven through it, "bitch" started out as a term for female dogs. Does anybody with a modicum of education not realize that? That when you call someone a "bitch", you're calling them a female dog? No, it's not the nicest thing to say. The column has quotes from people saying that the ban would prevent them from calling half their friends. And that is just weird. I think they need to turn up the class a bit with their friends. But what is the council going to do? Ban the words "female dog" next? It's a slippery slope is all I'm saying.

I'm all for feminism. Yay for equality and all that. But there's a division of feminists these days: The group that wants to protect women from all discrimination, whether or not that discrimination is real or even a reasonable expenditure of time, and the group that thinks the first group is nutters. I guess I'm part of that second group, which spends its time on true subjugation of women. I'm a bit more concerned when a 10 year old girl is being ritually circumcised or when a woman is getting beaten for the sake of not covering her ankles or when a pregnant woman is fired for taking up too much of the company's medical resources. "Bitch" is hardly on my radar.

What? Not the World's Biggest Ball of Twine?

2007-07-07T21:32:00.000-06:00

The New Seven Wonders of the World have officially been chosen:

Chichen Itza - Mexico
Christ Redeemer - Brazil
The Great Wall - China
Machu Picchu - Peru
Petra - Jordan
The Colloseum* - Italy
Taj Mahal - India
The Great Pyramids - Egypt (I know this makes 8, but apparently Egyptian officials threw a big hissy that they had to compete, being the only surviving wonder of the original 7.)

I've only been to Chichen Itza. (I've been to Peru twice - both times to the Amazon Basin, the complete other end of the country from Macchu Picchu.) I'm not a big fan of the Christ Redeemer statue though. It just doesn't hold the beauty of the other nominees for me. I would have chosen Easter Island or Stonehenge or Angkor, which were all runner-ups, in its place. There are other places in the world that I would add too - Thailand's Reclining Buddha, which is a sight to behold, for example (Thailand in general is chock full of great stuff actually). Or the Sistine Chapel. Or Westminster Abbey.

What would you add?

* Proof of why I shouldn't post while sleepy. It's spelled Colosseum. And even though the actual website spelled it incorrectly, I'm kind of surprised at myself for not catching it immediately. I'm losing it, ya'll. Losing. It.

Challenge

2007-06-22T10:40:00.000-06:00

Charlie's visit to the vet was this morning. He was such a good boy as they took out his stitches, tested him for worms of all kinds (and was all negative, yay!) and gave him his rabies shot. Unfortunately, they also determined that Charlie is indeed deaf. Jon and I had been pretty sure of it before now, but the vet confirmed it. It's crushing to find that your baby has some serious genetic defect.

But I loved him from the moment I saw him and I'm not giving up on him. I've already researched deafness in dogs and was pleased to learn that they can be trained just as easily as hearing dogs using hand signals instead of your voice. He's going to start training classes in the next week or so.

Even so, I'd like to ask, has anyone out there had experience with a deaf dog? Tips? Advice? Maybe a solution to stop Charlie from thinking I'm a chew toy?

Name Contest!

2007-06-16T20:01:00.000-06:00

Okay, not so much a contest because there are no awards but I will give kudos to anyone that comes up with a good name for my new puppy! Jon and I had a list of names already, but none of them seem to fit this little guy and since he was a stray, the Waco Humane Society didn't have one for him either. Suggest away!

Manners Again

2007-06-09T17:02:00.000-06:00

I went to a summer clerk seminar/lunch thing yesterday at the federal courthouse. Most of the people there were from law firms and another handful worked there every day as judicial interns. I think I was the only one from another government agency (the Federal public defender). I was also the only one from Baylor so far as I could tell. It was a little weird because everyone else seemed to be interning all at the same firm and/or from SMU.*

After a morning of overviews of the federal courts and the magistrate courts and a little mock trial, which was rather amusing, we had lunch with a panel. All the panelists were present or former clerks and I was pleased to hear from them until the organizer read their credentials - Yale or Harvard came up in all of them. Cue the slumping into my seat in recognizance of my futility. They reminded me of those people from the beginning of Legally Blonde, when everyone's talking about their master's and PhD's while Reese Witherspoon talks about her successful mixers.

After lunch, we were given tours of the courthouse departments, including probation, bankruptcy court, the clerk's office and the US Marshal. The Marshal's office was by far the most fun. And this is where my little rant on manners begins.

The US Marshal, whose name I never caught, was a really nice guy in his 40s who happily led our group around the training facility. You know those movies where they show army or police trainees running around a mock-up or a crack house or terrorist cell safe-house with night vision and plastic guns and they shoot each other? Yeah, they have one of those in the federal courthouse. It was pretty cool. He walked us all the way through, including the stress room, which isn't very big but they turn out the lights and the AC and make you feel like you're really fighting for your life. And the Deputy Marshal was just so excited about all of this, talking about how he brings in police and army reservists (he being a reservist himself) on weekends so that they can learn things that will potentially save their lives.

He obviously loved his job and loved teaching us about how the Marshal's trained for close combat. I thought it was really sweet. Meanwhile, some of the students began snickering at his enthusiasm as he led us from room to room, admittedly taking up way more time than we had been allotted.

But still, what snobs! If I one day loved my job as much as that deputy clearly did, I would thank my lucky stars. And if I ever have the luck to become a federal judge, I want someone exactly like him to be protecting me in court.

Don't be like those jerks. Be happy for someone who enjoys their job, especially a job that entails protecting you. In short, don't act like you were born in a barn and instead act like you have some civility and good manners.

*I'm really not trying to pick on people from SMU. I was considering going there myself. One of my close friends does go there. But in Dallas, SMU is the prevalent source for law students so this is just the result of statistics.