Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Also, the Name is Obnoxious

There are many things I don't understand - why the good die young, how people find clowns at all entertaining, and how my grades are inversely proportional the amount of time I've spent studying for the exam. One day, I hope to find the answers to these questions. But there's one thing I do not understand and have no wish to - Twitter.

What narcissistic sociopath thought up Twitter? From what I can tell, it's addictive, constant and has even ensnared the upper echelons of our government representatives. Since when was anything that a decrepit congressman did cool? It would only have been worse if Obama himself was updating Twitter during his own speech - "Barack Obama is *rocking* this", "Barack Obama OMG! almost lost his place!", "Barack Obama thinks Nancy Pelosi might try to hug him soon - creepy".

Does anyone but me realize that it's just Facebook statuses on steroids? Don't we have enough people that update their status with frightening consistency? Why are we rewarding that behavior? Seriously, if you go to the Twitter homepage, under the "Why?" tab, it has "Eating soup? Research shows your mom wants to know." NO. I can ASSURE you that my mother does not care about my dietary habits on a minute-to-minute basis. I have never called her to list out my meals to her, unless you count when I went to Scotland, and I emailed to her - "I ate haggis and actually liked it!" (There was a whole lot more to that email.) And, people, my mother loves me.

Let's face it. Twitter is the ultimate vanity - more than even, say, having a blog where you preach to everyone about how certain things are stupid. It's a frivolity and a complete self-indulgence. I mean, chocolate cake is too but at least it takes only 5 minutes to eat a slice and doesn't annoy the crap out of the people around you.

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