Until tonight, my top 5 worst-movies-I've-ever-seen list was fairly static:
1. Mr. Wrong
2. Ultraviolet
3. Eragon
4. Star Wars Episode III
5. Star Wars Episode II
Don't get me wrong. I haven't seen "Gigli" or "Glitter" or... well, anything with Jessica Alba (except "Sin City", which I did not care for). "Mr. Wrong" probably should be removed for the simple reason that *no one* has ever seen it, but I digress...
We have a new contender! And it's making its debut at no less than the third spot! Congratulations should be extended to the former #3 and #4 for bumping down a notch and a big thumbs up to Episode II for not showing enough of Hayden Christensen to stay on the list.
And the new number three? "Confessions of a Shopaholic", which I saw tonight with some of the girls (Lacour escaped unscathed).
I'm not sure which part was worse. Perhaps it was the creepy mannequins that kept talking to and winking at the main character. Perhaps it was the Lucille Ball-esque slapstick comedy. (I swear that some of those gags I had actually *seen* in "I Love Lucy"... except it was funny back then.) Perhaps it was the way the debt collector harassed the main character to the point of stalking, thus ruining the stalking "joke". Perhaps it was the way that the main character wasn't just a compulsive shopper, but a compulsive liar. Or perhaps it was because I spent the entire movie wanting to strangle the main character for being a total twit. And, no matter the reason it was awful (*cough* all of the above *cough*), I think that a movie about shopping should showcase more fabulous high fashion.
In all, I think I might have cracked a smile once. I *know* that this was the first time I've ever sent a text to someone in the middle of a movie and desperately wished for the answer so that I would be distracted for a moment.
The text summed it up really: "Jon! This is terrible!!!"
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3 comments:
The only thing keeping me from texting you "Worst. Movie. Ever!" at least a dozen times was that the only thing I hate worse than horrible writing is movie texting :p
But seriously folks. This bumped "Bad News Bears" (the remake) off of my personal #1 spot.
The movie: A happens... then, inexplicably and improbably, B happens... then, inexplicably and improbably, C happens... then, inexplicably and improbably, D happens, and this goes on until I think I'm going to strangle one of the girls sitting next to me simply because they're closer than any of the actors or writers.
I hate movie texting too, but I was desperate.
Thanks for not strangling me though.
I forgot to mention another, more personal, reason for hating the movie though - we're POOR. And we can't sell off the contents of our closet in a cheesy 80s style montage to get $16k to pay off all our debts. Oh, and the ease of which she got a job that she was totally unqualified for. Yeah...
Star Wars - Episode III wasn't that bad. II and I are vomit-inducing at best. But, the worst on my list would be that weird 2008 Speed Racer remake that nobody but me and three other guys went to see.
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