Please, Nicolas Cage, I entreat you to stop making movies. Especially ones where you're a psuedo-superhero. Or just a superhero. Those stink too. If you absolutely insist, at least get some Rogaine. You were cute as the slightly psycho one-handed opera fan in "Moonstruck". But that was 20 years ago. In the immortal words of "The Wedding Singer" from that scene where Adam Sandler's womanizing best friend reveals his inner fears - "No one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks." And when an Adam Sandler vehicle starts making valid points, it's time to listen.
I realize that this is the second post addressing the issues of the rich and famous and slightly creepy, but I'm very depressed at the moment and I'm feeling the need to make fun of aging celebrities. Besides, Cage named his son Kal-El. He has cursed his child to a life of humiliation during many a recess and lunch time. I think that Cage thinks it's still 1989 and so his son can get defend himself by saying, "My dad is Nicolas Cage and he'll beat up your dad!" But I'm pretty sure even Skeet Ulrich's kid is going to win that one. Which is just sad.
The point of all this being that I'm not going to see "Next", Cage's upcoming attempt to ensnare all of Hollywood in his own personal midlife crisis. Can't you just see the headlines for the reviews? ""Next"? Next!" Then there will be a little blurb under that about how Cage plans to change his name to Jor-El.
10 comments:
I think Cage should stop making movies in general. I don't have a problem with most actors, but he just irks me. Even tho I want to see that 9/11 movie he's in, I won't, just because he's in it. Maybe he's worn out his welcome by trying to be Ghostrider.
Uhhh he brought us good movies such as The Rock, Face Off, and recently National Treasure, which if your a guy are awesome movies.
Just because his movies lack chick crap doesn't mean they suck. ... although i do wonder what he was thinking with ghost rider.
As for the name thing, ....well i got nothing to defend him with there.
Lord of War, Adaptation, and Raising Arizona are all great movies. He just needs to make better decisions. (When I saw the trailer for National Treasure I thought it was a joke).
The hair though...I don't even know how to fix that. Shave it all off?
And if you're going to name your kid after Superman, have the decency to call him Clark Kent Cage. Much cooler.
Anonymous -
I have never seen Face Off, but I have seen The Rock and that's alright. But again, it was when he had hair and he wasn't hitting on women half his age. Instead, he played what he was meant to play - a geeky scientist that gets caught in mini-Armageddon. That's fine. It's really the superhero roles that I have a problem with. Like I said, I loved him in Moonstruck. National Treasure was only okay, but I actually didnt' blame him for that.
V -
I firmly believe that men should shave their heads if they start looking like that. And yes! You have my exact thoughts for his kid. What was wrong with the name Clark? Kal-El then becomes a cute yet nerdy nickname.
He probably figured he could name the kid whatever he wanted and just buy the kid some friends who wont make fun of his name.
Alright...I myself am a filmmaker and it is true...he must choose better roles. But he did deliver World Trade Center, Lord of War, Matchstick Men, Adaptation, Bringing Out the Dead, 8mm, The Rock, Face/Off, Moonstruck and Raising Arizona. Hes worked with a majority of Hollywood everyone wants to work with. But hes torn...he's just a kid wanting to be given the chance to play his heroes.
He was dying to play Superman and they passed him. Hence his child's name. He loves Elvis and so he married his daughter. As for Ghostrider...it was his favorite marvel character...which he has a tattoo of. If they made a movie about your hero and you were an actor...wouldnt you push for it???
I would never pick Ghostrider as my favorite superhero. I mean come on.... Ghostrider? Really?
Obviously he must not have much exposure to Marvel comics.
What the heck all you guys got to say are rude comments. It's not like he can stop gettin older. If you were a movie star would you want people rippin on you for your age, and what u name your kids. kal-EL aint as bad as some names I've heard. I love all his movies everyone I know love his movies. So quit rippin on him he's a great guy.
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