Pro Se

This morning I came into court fully expecting to drift off and away to another court, perhaps a felony court on the 5th floor, to find something interesting to watch. While I love watching everything in misdemeanor court, I just needed something different than my 100th jail chain case for a DWI, my 200th plea for a DWI or 10th jury selection for a DWI.

Lo and behold, the "something different" came to me - a pro se case going to jury trial. For the non-law students in the crowd, that means the defendant is defending him or herself. Now, you might be thinking, "Hey, that's their right. How dare you take such amusement in that? That's their constitutional right!"

And yes, yes it is. I don't debate that. That Constitution of ours, it's a damn good bit of writing. That said, if you are ever in court do NOT defend yourself. If you don't have money for paying a lawyer, the court provides one for you, for FREE. And while I can't speak to many other courts, the public defenders I know are excellent lawyers committed to getting their indigent clients the best of a crappy situation.

There are precious few defendants who have a honest-to-goodness valid reason for passing up on a free lawyer or the opportunity to hire their own. I can't think of any of those reasons at the moment, but I'm sure they're out there.* But if you're not one of those few, take that lawyer and thank heaven we have a system that provides everyone who wants it with counsel.

Because really, this morning when I heard there was a pro se case going to trial, I was pleased. I've seen a few of these types of defendants and they are often real characters. I thought that I'd come home and say something like, "Hey, you would never believe what this pro se defendant did... Isn't that funny in an endearing way? Luckily the public defender who was assisting her corrected her and everything worked out and she got a fair trial."

But it wasn't funny in an endearing way. It was painful and struck up motherly instincts in me that I had long thought were dead. I just wanted to take the defendant out for soup, crackers and a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows (ignoring the fact that it's June) and tell her that it would be all okay. Even though I have a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't be.

The jury panel didn't understand her questions during voir dire, the state made awkward objections to things that the judge had already told her she couldn't say, and her opening statement was senseless rambling compared to the ADA's short and concise statement. By the end of the morning, the jury was already looking at her like she was insane. I'm undecided whether it made it more painful that she seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that she was alienating the 6 people that would decide her fate.

I'll tell you tomorrow what that fate is. But I think we all know already.

* Maybe that guy that Prof Crim Law ended up defending at the 5th Circuit, whose original lawyer had screwed him over so badly both monetarily and legally that he was teaching himself the law for the appeal. He won that appeal based on his own appellate brief.