Avert Your Eyes

I awoke this morning and did my usual routine while listening to the painters outside spray-painting the side of my building. They've been at this for a couple weeks and frankly, I'm quite sick of them. I know I'm being unfair, but when I'm going to my dryer to get a clean t-shirt after my shower, I don't like to turn around and see the painters looking at me over my 7 foot tall privacy fence. Did I mention it was right after my shower? It was like I had stepped into a Ben Stiller movie and that's not a very fun place to be.

Anyway, they're painting what was normal, neutral-colored brick with this weird tri-color scheme in an attempt (I'm guessing) to look fresh and "with it". Most of the buildings have a cream top, a white stripe in the middle and green bottom. And yet I walked outside this morning to find my own building's walls a delightful shade of vomit.

VOMIT. Seriously, it looks like what my dog regularly throws up when he's eaten too many bits of disgusting trash off of the sidewalk. I'm hoping that this is just the base coat, but it cannot be gone soon enough. (Although even as I type this, they're hovering outside my window, painting more vomit on the walls. I'm dressed this time though.)

I know they're trying to update the place with the new owners and all, but it's like my apartment complex is having a mid-life crisis. And I'm the kid, embarrassed at the things that it's doing to itself in order to look cool and young again. Couldn't it just have bought a red sports car and gotten a 19 year old secretary to prance around in a miniskirt and do other, non-family-oriented things?