The sun was shining on the sea...

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"to talk of many things.
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."
~Lewis Carroll

This is pretty much how I feel in the time that leads up to finals. I'll distract myself in any way possible from the upcoming terror and the realization that I've basically done NOTHING during the quarter. These distractions take a variety of forms, making Jon wonder if I'm maybe a bit bipolar. I tell him that I don't have the energy to be bipolar. My distractions for the week:

"Cold Comfort Farm" by Stella Gibbons.

This is one of my favorite books. When I'm feeling especially sour on life, I read this or "Jane Eyre", which IS my favorite book. "Jane Eyre" isn't very comical, of course, whereas "Cold Comfort Farm" is a comic satire of all those novels that describe the gloomy and tragic romances English people apparently have all the time on country farms. You know, downers like "Tess of the d'Urbervilles". Anyway, Flora walks into one of these gloomy and tragic farms that all those novels have and decides to clean things up. It's probably not a book for guys, unless you're a big fan of Victorian novels. If you are, kudos to you.

Proving that I might be bipolar after all, my other distraction will be Year Zero, the Nine Inch Nails CD coming out on Tuesday. I've only heard one track from it - "Survivalism" - which didn't actually excite me all that much. With Teeth is looking to be the better album of the two recent NIN albums. But Trent Reznor is near and dear to my heart and I'm going to buy Year Zero anyway. I usually find the songs that weren't released as singles are better anyway. The only reason I didn't go to their last concert was because it was on my wedding day. And I still considered going. In my wedding dress. Those would have been awesome pictures. *sigh*

I'm now done foisting my distractions upon you. Back to outlining.

Please, for the love of all that is decent...

Please, Nicolas Cage, I entreat you to stop making movies. Especially ones where you're a psuedo-superhero. Or just a superhero. Those stink too. If you absolutely insist, at least get some Rogaine. You were cute as the slightly psycho one-handed opera fan in "Moonstruck". But that was 20 years ago. In the immortal words of "The Wedding Singer" from that scene where Adam Sandler's womanizing best friend reveals his inner fears - "No one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks." And when an Adam Sandler vehicle starts making valid points, it's time to listen.

I realize that this is the second post addressing the issues of the rich and famous and slightly creepy, but I'm very depressed at the moment and I'm feeling the need to make fun of aging celebrities. Besides, Cage named his son Kal-El. He has cursed his child to a life of humiliation during many a recess and lunch time. I think that Cage thinks it's still 1989 and so his son can get defend himself by saying, "My dad is Nicolas Cage and he'll beat up your dad!" But I'm pretty sure even Skeet Ulrich's kid is going to win that one. Which is just sad.

The point of all this being that I'm not going to see "Next", Cage's upcoming attempt to ensnare all of Hollywood in his own personal midlife crisis. Can't you just see the headlines for the reviews? ""Next"? Next!" Then there will be a little blurb under that about how Cage plans to change his name to Jor-El.

Pathetically Amusing Becomes Creepy

Keith Richards has told a British magazine that he snorted his father's ashes with some blow. Um, gross. If Keith Richards wasn't the reason to never do drugs before, this seals the deal. The best part is where he tells the reporter that his father wouldn't have minded. Keith, Keith, Keith... I'm pretty sure this proves that it didn't go "down well". If you just thought forward in this process a little, you would realize that you are literally flushing some of your father's remains down the toilet.

In addition, I think that anything that Cartman from South Park has done is generally not meant to be a shining example for others. Even if you are a rock star.

Queen and Princess

I adore Queen, so people often send me music by imitators. I knew about The Darkness long before most people, and now Mika is apparently gaining popularity. Both do a pretty fair imitation, but I would never be able to listen to this song as I do with Bohemian Rhapsody. A cliched choice of best Queen song perhaps, but who of the younger set doesn't have a fond memory of seeing Wayne's World and it's version? (I was 8 and I trace my love of Queen to that moment. I was sitting on my best friend's staircase which faced the TV and I remember we rewinded it and played it about 12 times.)

When I was watching this video, however, lots of people got the whole Queen-imitation thing. What many YouTube viewers don't know is this - who is Grace Kelly?

Are you kidding me? I thought it was a fluke, but going back into the comments, I found several people asking who she was. One response said "According to Wikipedia, one of the most popular and beloved Americans of the 20th century, as well as a Princess of Monaco." Really, people??? You had to look it up on Wikipedia? And Princess of Monaco was the best you could do? I know she wasn't in scads of movies, but she was iconic. Rear Window alone would have cemented her into American cinematic history.

I'm disappointed in today's youth. (I'm assuming with the name SkyRats, the most recent questioner is young.) I also feel old.

Friday Night... Dead People?

I was driving home today and thought of one of my favorite quotes, which is oh so applicable right now: "Lois, I am obligated to keep loving you, so I will take my rage out on my own body. Let's go to Denny's."

I'm not going to Denny's. But instead of talking about what I want to talk about, I'm going to be smart. Let's talk about TV. I don't watch a lot of it. When I say that my favorite show is House, that's pretty much because it's the only show I watch regularly. (The other possibility is Venture Brothers, which isn't even on reruns at the moment - if you have no idea what VB is about, get out from under your rock and watch it on DVD or YouTube. Any show that combines a license to kill, Chupacabras, cloning, necromancers and David Bowie is pretty bound to be awesome. Or crap. But this one is awesome.)

Anyway, my TV is about 14 inches wide and I'm too lazy/cheap to go out and get a new one. Even so, when I saw a commercial about a new series that starred Jeff Goldblum, I was drawn to it like (dare I say it?) a fly to... okay, I just wanted to make a "The Fly" joke. Give me a break. I'm not really paying attention to what I'm typing.

Jeff Goldblum seems to raise a lot of emotion in the "I actually remember when Jurassic Park came out in theaters and wasn't being played on TNT every night" crowd. You either love him or you hate him. I get it. Being someone who is very attracted to the tall, dark, geeky type, guess which category I fall into?

The new series is called "Raines" in which Jeff Goldblum plays a cop and it's actually very decent. Not House or Venture Brothers, but pretty darn good. Jeff mumbles as he is wont to do, but it just lends credence to the premise, which is actually clever. He sees dead people! But they're just figments of his imagination, which is the better part. And he's kind of a jerk, which apparently is just the sort of guy I like to watch but not be in the same room with.

I fully expect it to be canceled of course. Although it's not on FOX, which is the kiss of death for 99% of the shows I like, it is moving to Friday nights after a mere 2 weeks on Thursday. Probably not a good sign. But give it a chance while it's on, if for nothing more than some 90s nostalgia. Then I'm sure some horrible new CSI spin-off will take it place. Ugh.

Oy! Still Dancin' Along

Since the Prof. has practically announced me as dead, I thought I would prove my very much alive-ness. I really haven't had much to say actually, as I've been living in Brief Land (not as sexy as it sounds) and then Lazy Land (exactly as sexy as it sounds), but here I am, now in Oral Argument And Scare Me To Death Land.

Eh. I exaggerate. Not that scary, I guess. I was in mock trial in high school and theater in college. I'm used to making a fool of myself, both in front of lawyers and in front of my friends. After wrapping my legs around a strange guy and planting a big kiss on him in front of my mother and my fiance in a particularly badly written play, not much phases me.

Still, when the barrister asks me a question, I feel like I'm in that tap dance scene in "Chicago" where Richard Gere is struggling to make his case. Except I took tap 14 years ago, when I was 8. For a year. And instead of pretty, distracting girls around me, I have people hitting me with big signs saying "she don't know a thing". And apparently, I develop a Midwest accent when I'm nervous with a sinus infection.

The good news is that my heinous sickness has drained all competitive spirit out of me. You might ask why this is good news. Well, considering Valerie and Sarah are still talking to me after I went against them today, that's pretty good for me. Heh. And you think I'm kidding. Wait 'til I get over this darn cough.

Pluckers

Since Jon's working during Spring Break, we're mostly sticking around Waco. However, we're going to have to make a trip down to Austin this coming week. Yeah, yeah... we have friends there. Whatev. But the much more pressing matter is that we must have at least one meal in the new Pluckers on South Lamar.

If you haven't been to Pluckers, you're completely missing out. Best. Wings. Ever. Jon and I are often challenged on this point but we've never conceded. Also, if you like alcohol but don't like beer like me, you must try the Pluckers Lemonade. It's awesome when they make it right and you can order it in huge mugs. Perfect for say... after turning in a brief you've agonized over for weeks.

Anyway, Jon and I have been to every Pluckers in Texas (there's one in Baton Rouge which we would have to make an effort to get to... someday, someday.) We desperately need one in Waco, but until then, we'll make trips to Dallas or Austin.

*The picture is of my friend Chase at the Dallas Pluckers. They don't do the brown-bagging the beers thing anymore, but it's an awesome picture from TX/OU weekend 2005 and the only one I have of any Pluckers. Congrats to Chase for getting into my blog.